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Band 4.5

It is inevitable that traditional cultures will be lost as technology develops. Technology and traditional cultures are incompatible. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this view?

#cultures #technology
Nowdays
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Nowadays
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, Every human is relying too much on
Technology
. And due to
this
 overreliance, it is unavoidable to say that traditional culture is coming to an end as
technology
 is developing dramatically with each passing day. I completely agree with
this
 statement and will give reasons regarding it in
this
 essay. With the advent of
technology
, Human
life
have
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has
show examples
 become very flexible, easy and safe. We can see now every person has
mobile
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a mobile
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 phone in his hand and it is just one
technology
 and let us see
this
 one
technology
have
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has
show examples
 bought
change
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a change
show examples
 in individual
life
 and made their
life
 flexible.
For example
, now
Add an article
a person
the person
show examples
person
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people
show examples
 can go to any part of the world and still can contact
to
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apply
show examples
their parents through mobile phone. While living away from them, He can share his sorrow as well as happiness with his
closed
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close
show examples
 ones.In traditional cultures, there was no facility that a person can contact
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
their loved one when in need. So
this
 is why
people
 are losing the traditional culture as
technology
 is giving them
an
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apply
show examples
ease. The other reason is that
human
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humans
show examples
 nowadays desire to live a prosperous
life
. They want to earn
lot
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a lot
show examples
 of money and
technology
 have made it very easy for them.
Technology
 has generated
bulk
Correct article usage
a bulk
show examples
 of employment for
people
 so that they can earn money and live
thier
Correct your spelling
their
life
.Whereas, before
technology
job
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jobs
show examples
 were not there and
main
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the main
show examples
 source of income was farming only. But now we can see jobs in lots of
field
Change to a plural noun
fields
show examples
. So, Job
have
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has
show examples
 increased and it
give
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gives
show examples
 equal opportunities for every youth so that they can dwell their
life
. To conclude, I would say that there is no
competiton
Correct your spelling
competition
 between
technology
 and traditional cultures as
technology
 has helped
people
 with ease and
flexiblity
Correct your spelling
flexibility
 of
life
 as well as it
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
 generated lots of employment in
variety
Add an article
a variety
show examples
 of fields and these are the reasons
people
 are going towards
technology
 and ending traditional culture.
Submitted by anash.suhail on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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