Some people feel unsafe either staying at home or going out. What are the possible reasons for this? What can be done to address this issue?

#people #home #address

In the modern world, the number of committed crimes has been increasing sharply.

As a result

, some individuals

terrify

Wrong verb form

are terrified

show examples

from

Change preposition

show examples

criminals regardless of where they are.

This

essay will discuss the causes of

this

scare and provide possible solutions to eliminate

this

problem.

First,

there are various significant reasons for feeling in trouble, even being at home. Childhood traumas are considered the chief cause of

this

, which is maintained in the mind of a person from a young age. Violence from

step-father

Correct article usage

the step-father

show examples

or un rare conflict between parents will provide a mental illness with a direct impact on the psychics of the kid.

Furthermore

, in the age of technology

exist

Correct subject-verb agreement

exists

show examples

a plethora of cameras around us.

Hence

, citizens

petrify

Wrong verb form

are petrified

show examples

from

Change preposition

about

show examples

being recorded and believe that perhaps there are hidden cameras even in their homes.

Consequently

, it does not only appear

Change preposition

as the

show examples

the

Correct article usage

show examples

scare in

Correct article usage

the mind

show examples

mind

Fix the agreement mistake

minds

show examples

people

, but it

also

distracts the personal

boundary

Fix the agreement mistake

boundaries

show examples

of members of

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

society.

Nevertheless

this

issue can be solved by support from family and treating the mental health of

such

kinds of

people

. To avoid feeling unsafe, surrounded

and

Change preposition

by and

show examples

closest

people

should bolster them, claiming that they are in security.

Moreover

, regular attendance to a psychologist will cure childhood trauma and other mental problems. If

such

diseases

would be

Wrong verb form

were

show examples

treated on time, there

will

Wrong verb form

would

show examples

not be any point

to struggle

Change preposition

in struggling

show examples

with sociophobia.

To conclude

, feeling in trouble all the time is a disease that

formed

Wrong verb form

forms

show examples

in childhood.

This

would be cured by courage from close

people

Submitted by zhadyra.serikbayeva2016 on Wed Oct 27 2021

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coherence cohesion

Improve logical structure to ensure clear progression of ideas.

coherence cohesion

The introduction and conclusion are present; however, they can be further developed for a stronger impact.

task achievement

Provide more relevant and specific examples to support main points.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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11Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
17Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

251 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

Perceive
Threat
Crime
Fear
Accident
Natural disaster
Personal security
Trust
Authorities
Social isolation
Loneliness
Media
News coverage
Community safety measures
Personal security awareness
Transparency
Support networks
Community involvement

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Some people feel unsafe either staying at home or going out. What are the possible reasons for this? What can be done to address this issue?

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Everyone in the world is wearing the same brand and watching the same TV channels and movies. Do you think it is a positive or a negative development?

Some uniforms have always been a subject of heated debates. Some believe they should be compulsory in all schools.

In many countries the proportion of older people is increasing. Could this have mroe positive or negative effects on society?

The plans below show a traditional and modern two-storey Japanese house. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparison where relevant.