Many people believe that media coverage of celebrities is having a negative effect on children.

Media
Add an article
The media
show examples
industry has grown over the years. Half of the time,
media
Correct article usage
the media
show examples
is showing celebrities'
Correct your spelling
lifestyle
show examples
life style
Correct your spelling
lifestyle
show examples
and what are they
upto
Correct your spelling
up to
. To know about
public
Add an article
a public
show examples
figure
Fix the agreement mistake
figures
show examples
is interesting. Though, I believe that it has a bad impact on children because the
media
only covers either their luxurious lifestyle or their bad habits. Due to the fact that modern technologies and social
media
platforms, one can easily get
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
information about anyone.
Media
mostly covers celebrities and politics.
However
,
young
Add an article
the young
show examples
generation
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
less concerned about
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
political
news
,
news
channels generally broadcast film stars and models. Be it on social platforms or
news
channel
Fix the agreement mistake
channels
show examples
, it is about their high standard living style or how they dressed up
on
Change preposition
at
show examples
award
function
Fix the agreement mistake
functions
show examples
or where did they go for a vacation, etc.
Sometime
Replace the word
Sometimes
show examples
media
goes beyond and show the dark side of them.
For example
,
a
Remove the article
news
a piece of news
show examples
news
about a
hollywood
Change the capitalization
Hollywood
show examples
star
was
Correct pronoun usage
who was
show examples
caught using drugs. Being a star, people want to know about
them
Change the pronoun
their
show examples
everything. But sometimes,
media
Correct article usage
the media
show examples
overlooked that they have young viewers
also
. The way
media
has
potray
Correct your spelling
portrayed
portray
them, half of the young generation consider them as their idol. Children do not understand that
its
Correct your spelling
it's
show examples
necessary to look good to get the work. Kids look up to
this
Correct determiner usage
these
show examples
stars and follow them blindly. They want to look exactly like them and copy their attire as well. Parents sometimes are concerned about their kids as they want expensive
cloth like
Add a hyphen
cloth-like
show examples
them and want to live
such
life style
Correct your spelling
lifestyle
show examples
. According to one survey, young girls get depressed if
she
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
watch or read about celebrity's fashion more than twice. it is obvious that
young
Correct article usage
the young
show examples
generation
start
Change the verb form
starts
show examples
feeling inferiority comparing
themselve
Correct your spelling
themselves
with them. In conclusion,
media
should have restricted content when they publish about
celebrity
Fix the agreement mistake
celebrities
show examples
as it has
more
Add an article
a more
show examples
negative impact on young kids than a
positve
Correct your spelling
positive
.
Submitted by brijal_desai on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: