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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some people prefer to relax by doing physical activities, while others choose mental activities. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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Proper
relaxation
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Use synonyms
exercise
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exercises
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are roots
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are rooted
are rooting
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 to
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the wellbeing
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wellbeing
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well-being
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 of humans. Certain communities would like to engage with physical
exercise
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 to
be relax
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relax
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, while opponents assist with
Use synonyms
mind
Replace the word
mental
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activities
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.
Although
Linking Words
 both parties prefered one side, I believe that both physical and mental
exercises
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 will benefit society with healthy and relaxed lives. Nowadays, most
of
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apply
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people
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the people
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 would prefer physical
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exercises
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exercise
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 to relaxed, because those
activities
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 aid them to get-away from their routing lifestyles and enrich them with better health conditions. Having a morning jogging in
countryside
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the countryside
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 or
at
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on
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 a walking path will nourish
people
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 with fresh air, and
this
Linking Words
 makes their day calm and energetic.
In addition
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,
this
Linking Words
 will reduce
their
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the
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 calories and unwanted fat, deposited in body muscles.
As a result
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,
people
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 can easily get rid of long time
illness
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illnesses
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 like cholesterol and blood pressure.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, some
communites
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communities
 are like to engage with
activities
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, which are focused on
mind
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, to relaxed.
This
Linking Words
 is to say,
considerable
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a considerable
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 number of
people
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 are engaged with Yoga
exercises
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 to develop their mental
relaxations
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relaxation
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.
Moreover
Linking Words
, several
people
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are take
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are taking
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 part in
meditation
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a meditation
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program
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programs
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, like Bhawana, continuously. Though being calm by focusing
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mind
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the mind
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 on one subject, those mental
activities
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 assist
people
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 to feel relaxed and heal their lives. In my opinion,
healthy
Correct article usage
a healthy
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 lifestyle is the key to
spend
Wrong verb form
spending
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 our lives happily without any struggle in
mind
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.
Therefore
Linking Words
, to enjoy
a
Correct article usage
apply
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perfect
relaxation
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 in
the
Correct article usage
apply
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life, all the
people
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 must focus on their physical
exercises
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 as well as mental
activities
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. In conclusion, different
commuinities
Correct your spelling
communities
 may
argued
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argue
be argued
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 that
relaxation
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 is an output of physical
activities
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 or mental
activities
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.
Nevertheless
Linking Words
, my opinion is both physical
exercise
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 and
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mind
Replace the word
mental
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exercise
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 are
equaly
Correct your spelling
equally
 important to feel the
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relaxation
Replace the word
relaxed
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 vibe in
a
Remove the article
apply
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life.

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