IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people think parents should control the behaviour of children from a very young age but others think we should give them more freedom. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

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Many people believe that fathers should supervise their kid's
attitude
Fix the agreement mistake
attitudes
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since
Change preposition
from
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 their
birthday
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birthdays
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.
While
Linking Words
 others support freedom way. I am unconvinced that nature's control may
aginst
Correct your spelling
against
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 freedom,
this
Linking Words
 essay will examine both visions clearly. There is no doubt that mothers have a paramount role in their kids'
growth
Use synonyms
.
In other words
Linking Words
, fathers usually
has
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have
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 a great influence on their youth's lives by guiding and evaluating their performance to have good morals.
In addition
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, they can properly face
Use synonyms
growth's
Change noun form
growth
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 difficulties and approach matters more wisely.
For example
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,
while
Linking Words
 the new generation gets new relationships they may
be faces
Wrong verb form
face
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 some hardness,
their
Correct word choice
and their
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 parents' support must encourage them to pass it wisely and correctly as well.
Thus
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, mothers always should be a back boon for their
toddler
Fix the agreement mistake
toddlers
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 from the beginning to the end.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, many people believe that if predecessor gives their minors a space in their
growth
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, they will raise their self-confidence and ability to face potential difficulties in their lives and deal with them with wisdom and strength.
For example
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, in the
school
Add a comma
school,
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 there are several types of adolescents which may allow some of them to be a real problem for
the
Correct article usage
apply
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other, and if they cannot deal with them in their own way, they will be weak and their self-confidence will decrease as well.
Hence
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, giving space to think and deal with
growth
Use synonyms
 sometimes is a great opportunity for
the
Correct article usage
apply
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youngster to build their strong personalities. In conclusion, I absolutely believe that to balance the living
parent
Fix the agreement mistake
parents
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 of
adolescent
Fix the agreement mistake
adolescents
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 should hold the stick from the middle. Giving toddlers their freedom does not mean losing complete control over their style.

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relevant specific examples
Ensure all examples are directly relevant and clearly support your main points. The examples should enhance your arguments rather than detract from them.
complete response
Work on providing a more comprehensive response to the task. This includes expanding on your ideas and covering the topic with more depth.
clear comprehensive ideas
Pay attention to grammatical accuracy and variety, as improving this can help elevate your overall essay quality.
coherence cohesion
The essay articulately discusses both perspectives of the issue.
introduction conclusion present
A clear introduction and conclusion structure the essay well.
supported main points
The essay conveys thoughtful insights into the advantages of both controlled upbringing and freedom.
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