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Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people prefer to spend time with their own age group while others like to spend their time with different age groups. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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Humankind understands that
friendship
Use synonyms
 is an essential part of our lives;
however
Linking Words
, choosing a friend is a considerable choice. Several individuals feel comfortable with friends of a similar
age
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, whilst others tend to give their
time
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 to older or younger
people
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. In
this
Linking Words
 essay, I will discuss both views and give my opinion. On the one hand, most
people
Use synonyms
found
Verb problem
have
show examples
 the same
interest
Fix the agreement mistake
interests
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as well as
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the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
viewpoints
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
 the same
age
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 friend, since they grew up together and experienced
the
Correct article usage
apply
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similar contemporary.
Taking
Wrong verb form
Take
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 students in a class as an example. The more
time
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 they shared together, the stronger
Use synonyms
friendship
Correct article usage
the friendship
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 would develop.
Moreover
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, a group of friends of the same
age
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 normally has a physical and intellectual on the same level, so they can spend more activities together to strengthen their relationship.
For instance
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, it is difficult for our parents to explore the amusement park with adventurous games, but
that is
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 the best moment with our classmates.
On the other hand
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, I opine the
friendship
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 between
people
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 of different ages since
this
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 companionship gets more benefits than an ordinary one.
Firstly
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, the elderly have
many
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
knowledge and experience in the real world so that the young
people
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could
Wrong verb form
can
show examples
 learn or look for counsel.
Secondly
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, older
people
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 tend to protect and take care of younger
people
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, so spending
time
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 with them would be safe and serene.
Lastly
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, the relationship with more youthful
people
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 helps older individuals refresh their minds because the young community is always full of energy, and their fresh ideas could inspire others. In conclusion, some
people
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 exchange their
time
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 with the same
age
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 group because there are more tasks they could do together.
However
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, from my point of view,
friendship
Use synonyms
 would be more valuable if we spent it on
people
Use synonyms
 of different ages.

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task achievement
Make sure to clearly link your points to the question to show full task response. Consider elaborating more on the benefits of friendships with different age groups.
coherence and cohesion
Improve the flow between ideas. Use clear transition words to guide readers from one point to another, for example, using 'firstly,' 'secondly,' or 'in addition.'
task achievement
The essay addresses the topic well and presents both sides of the argument effectively.
coherence and cohesion
Good use of examples to illustrate points, particularly regarding the experiences shared in age groups and the benefits of diverse relationships.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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