IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

Some people think that getting a degree from university is the best way to secure a good job. Others believe that employers value work experience more than a university degree. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #university #job #employers #value #work
Undoubtedly, obtaining a highly-paid
job
 is an essential part
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
 every person’s life. While some consider that having a higher degree is a guarantee of being successfully employed others might argue that valuable insights are more relevant. In my opinion, it depends on
an
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 occupation an individual aspires to.
To begin
 with,
medical
Add an article
the medical
a medical
show examples
 sphere is full of vital professions which require obtaining special knowledge and years of studying. Obviously, it is impossible to examine or identify patients’ symptoms without acquiring education in medicine, and for
such
 a
job
 no amount of work
experience
 is able to substitute that.
For instance
, our body has more than two hundred bones along with various elements
such
 as a liver, lungs etc,
therefore
, these cognitions can only be gained through many years of learning at university.
On the other hand
, not all jobs are demanded
for
Remove the preposition
apply
show examples
having a higher education.
On the contrary
, some occupations can be achieved by long-term
experience
. There has always been a need for various services that are provided by a car mechanic or a
plummer
Correct your spelling
plumber
Plummer
 and they certainly will not gain anything from enrolling
to
Change preposition
on
show examples
 university. To illustrate, a
Correct your spelling
plumber
Plummer
plummer
Change the word
more plum
show examples
 enhances his knowledge together with essential
experience
 by fixing or dismantling taps.
Consequently
, none of
educational
Add an article
the educational
show examples
centers
Change the spelling
centres
show examples
 would supply students with
this
 particular relevant information, let alone a subject. In conclusion, it is the nature of the
job
 which requires whether education or relevant work
experience
. One should determine
himself
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
which option is more significant in order to aspire
a
Change preposition
to a
show examples
great
job
.
Submitted by aigulziatdinova29 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: