IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Some people seek a lot of advice from family and friends when choosing their career. Others feel it is better to choose a career more independently. Discuss both views and give your opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience

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Nowadays, some people
searching
Wrong verb form
search
show examples
 for advice during choosing their
future
Use synonyms
 career. Others, better take a look for their own knowledge.
However
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, personally, I think
that is
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 better to use your experience and choose
Add an article
a satisfied
the satisfied
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satisfied
Replace the word
satisfying
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 job.
This
Linking Words
 essay will emphasize why is better to keep your own point of view, but
also
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 will consider
Correct your spelling
advice
advices
Change the wording
advice
pieces of advice
bits of advice
show examples
 from other
Use synonyms
peoples
Fix the agreement mistake
people
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. On the one hand,
peoples
Use synonyms
those
Correct pronoun usage
who
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 have their own opinion are usually more successful in life,
then
Linking Words
Use synonyms
peoples
Fix the agreement mistake
people
show examples
those
Correct pronoun usage
who
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 listen to someone guidance. Because, when humans
choosing
Wrong verb form
choose
show examples
 their
future
Use synonyms
 workplace, they should regard only their own opinion.
For instance
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, my friend Oleg usually make a decision independently, but he can
also
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 consider someone else opinion. In fact, he obviously reached
a
Remove the article
apply
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success in
IT
Correct article usage
the IT
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 sphere.
Hence
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, nobody exactly knew what is better for each person. In
this
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 situation is better to have
own
Correct pronoun usage
your own
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 point of view, because
choice
Replace the word
choosing
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such
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 a
future
Use synonyms
 career considering, might influence on rest of
life
Correct pronoun usage
your life
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.
Then
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, everybody should definitely choose their own option.
On the other hand
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, if
advice
Add an article
the advice
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given
Add a missing verb
is given
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 from the older person, that has already gone the same way.
Then
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 it will be not unnecessary to follow some
Correct your spelling
advice
advices
Change the wording
advice
pieces of advice
bits of advice
show examples
.
For example
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, my uncle Andrew has no idea about
Use synonyms
future
Correct pronoun usage
his future
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 career. And he
was ask
Change the verb form
asked
show examples
him
Correct pronoun usage
his
show examples
 father for guidance, what is better to
chose
Change the verb
choose
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, what is better to leave. His father was like
role
Add an article
a role
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 model to him, and he has
Correct your spelling
advises
advices
Change the wording
advice
pieces of advice
bits of advice
show examples
 Andrew to choose the same way - medicine. After a while, Andrew became
second
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 to none doctor.
Thus
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,
this
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 story teaches that
its
Replace the word
it's
it is
show examples
 not always unnecessary to
listen
Add the preposition
tolisten
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 advice from
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
other
Use synonyms
peoples
Fix the agreement mistake
people
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. To conclude, I believe that before selecting a
future
Use synonyms
 position, humans do it because of their own
flavor
Change the spelling
flavour
show examples
, no matter what is crowd suggest
them
Change preposition
to them
show examples
. But each person should think about
Correct article usage
the other
show examples
other
Change the wording
another
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 side.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • career path
  • life experience
  • emotional support
  • practical guidance
  • personal growth
  • self-discovery
  • self-reliance
  • personal satisfaction
  • ownership
  • values and expectations
  • preferences and passions
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