IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people think that parents should teach children how to be good members of society.Others,however,believe that school is the place to learn this. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

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It is often argued that
parents
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 are the main factors that have to teach their
children
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 the ways of being good for
society
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,whilst others think that it is on schools to prepare
children
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.They are reasons that made
parents
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 involved in
this
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 case,but in my opinion,I think schools play the key role. On one hand,the effects of families on their
children
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's behaviour
in
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is
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 undeniable.Due to some moral issues that
children
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 inherit from
Correct pronoun usage
their
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they
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the
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parents
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,they reflect the vibes that were
transfered
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transferred
 from their
parents
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 to them in
the
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apply
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society
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.They witness that how their
parents
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 talk or act with each other and learn them,no matter that even if they are right or wrong.
For example
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,if the atmosphere of a home is
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full
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fulled
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filled
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with
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of
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 violence and conflict,the
children
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 of that family become aggressive.
This
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 statement is proven about almost 80% of the whole
society
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.But it does not mean that
children
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 always follow
their
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in their
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parents
Change to a genitive case
parent's
parents'
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 footsteps.
On the other hand
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,
children
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 spend most of their time at school with their teachers and other students.Educational schemes could be
vey
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very
 effective on childrens' future role in
society
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.If they learn the factors of being a good member
in
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of
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society
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,which need many years of
practicing
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practising
show examples
 and being in touch with the environment,they can easily execute it.
Additionaly
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Additionally
Additional
,
the
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apply
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 peer interaction should never be underestimated.When
childen
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children
 learn how to be
a
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apply
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good
member
Fix the agreement mistake
members
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in
Change preposition
of
show examples
society
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,they interact
whith
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with
 other students and can make some admiring roles for themselves,or
conversely
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,they could recognise negative points and avoid them. To sum up,both of these factors,
parents
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 and schools,are associated in the
proccess
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process
 of becoming a good member
in
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of
show examples
society
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 for a child.
Parents
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 are
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first
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the first
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 inspirations in
children
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's
life
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lives
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,but the knowledge that they will learn while studying at school can shape their character and their future roles in
society
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.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • good members of society
  • teach
  • parents
  • schools
  • responsibility
  • values
  • respect
  • empathy
  • responsibility
  • formal education
  • citizenship
  • ethics
  • social responsibility
  • lead by example
  • role models
  • conducive environment
  • extracurricular activities
  • community involvement
  • collaborate
  • holistic approach
What to do next:
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