IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Some people work for the same organization all their working life. Others think that it is better to work for different organizations. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#people #work #organization #life #organizations
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A
working
Replace the word
workplace
show examples
place
Use synonyms
 plays an imperative role in a worker’s life. A set of
people
Use synonyms
 spend their whole working years in a single company, whereas others love to find a new working
place
Use synonyms
 at other organizations frequently. In my opinion, it is crucial for employees to
work
Use synonyms
 for different employers to achieve their professional goals. Everyone has their own reasons to
work
Use synonyms
 for a single boss but
one
Use synonyms
 of them is
job
Use synonyms
 security, when someone works longer years at
one
Use synonyms
place
Use synonyms
 that shows their loyalty towards the employer, which reduces their chances of termination even during downsizing in the company.
For example
Linking Words
, United Kingdom
employment
Use synonyms
 data issued by the world trade organization shows that 90% of
people
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 who lost their jobs due to covid-19 lockdown in England had experienced less than three years.
Moreover
Linking Words
, working in
one
Use synonyms
place
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 enhance the worker’s experience in their domain that make them expert in their field,
as a result
Linking Words
, it is easy to achieve
desired
Change the article
the desired
show examples
 designation.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, in my opinion, shifting
job
Use synonyms
place
Use synonyms
 provides good opportunities In terms of skill set. Employees can learn different skills by working on different projects and experiencing challenging
job
Use synonyms
 duties which increase their
employment
Use synonyms
 options because it opens more working sectors for them to get
employment
Use synonyms
. Apart from
this
Linking Words
, when
people
Use synonyms
 shift to a new
job
Use synonyms
, generally get a higher
salary
Use synonyms
 because
30
Correct article usage
a 30
show examples
 to 40%
salary
Use synonyms
 hike at a new
job
Use synonyms
 is a general practice of the
employment
Use synonyms
 sector. In
this
Linking Words
 way, they can achieve a high band of
salary
Use synonyms
 within a short span of time. In conclusion,
people
Use synonyms
 have different reasons to
work
Use synonyms
 for
one
Use synonyms
 employee or different.
People
Use synonyms
 who give more value to
job
Use synonyms
 security love to
work
Use synonyms
 in a single organization and who prefer to learn new skills jump from
one
Use synonyms
job
Use synonyms
 to another frequently. In my opinion, frequent
job
Use synonyms
 changes
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 beneficial because it gives them an opportunity to learn more skills and get a rise in their
salary
Use synonyms
 when they join a new company.
Submitted by sanghagsc on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • stability
  • loyalty
  • seniority
  • job satisfaction
  • rapidly changing job market
  • adapt to
  • work culture
  • career progression
  • network
  • diversity of experience
  • adaptability
  • career aspirations
  • dynamic nature
What to do next:
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