IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7.5

Some people regard video games as harmless fun, or even as a useful educational tool. Others, however, believe that videos games are having an adverse effect on the people who play them. In your opinion, do the drawbacks of video games outweigh the benefits.

#people #video #games #fun #tool #videos #effect
In recent years, have seen a dramatic increase in the number of
people
 who like to play
video
games
. Yet, there remains some disagreement as to whether the overall effect of
this
 technology has been positive or negative. While there are valid arguments to the contrary, I personally believe that the drawbacks of computers game
such
 as addiction and health
problems
 far outweigh their benefits. On the one hand, it is an indisputable fact that there are entertainment and educational merits associated with computer
games
.
first
 of all, learning many activities in the real world becomes much easier for
people
 after experiencing them in the virtual world. Get driving a car as a good example, when individuals particularly, teenagers play simulations
games
such
 as ‘City Car Driving’, they learn many of the roles and regulations of
this
 skill unconsciously and based on trial and error.
Moreover
, in terms of educational goals, high-quality education sometimes depends on these
games
.
video
games
 improve the ability to analyze and evaluate issues and focus on all aspects of a situation. when it comes to studying and solving math
problems
 gamers occasionally do better than their peer groups.
On the other hand
, I believe that the harmful factors of
video
games
 prevail over the benefits.
Firstly
, the
video
 game is an industry, using attractive and
colorful
Change the spelling
colourful
show examples
 images or adding many new challenges in the game for persuading
people
, especially children to purchase new
games
 changed them to a modern way of addiction. Resulting in many serious
problems
 mentally and physically.
Furthermore
,
people
 prefer to stay at home and play
video
games
 with their friends via the internet
instead
 of gathering with their family or even doing outdoor activities.
this
 sedentary lifestyle may lead to many health
problems
 cush as obesity, visual impairment, and changes in gesture and posture of players. in conclusion, while
video
games
 have many benefits
such
 as improvement in learning ability and being fun, the disadvantage of these new types of entertainment have many bad effects on their fans.
Submitted by par206 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: