Some people believe that happiness is a person responsibility while other thinks it’s depend on other factors.Do you agree or disagree.

#people #happiness #person #responsibility #it’s #factors

Happiness

is the utmost significant aspect for the

humans

Replace the word

human

show examples

life, without

joyness

Correct your spelling

joyless

life is being terrible and

this

can lead to getting more mental depressions. Some say that the

joyness

rely on a person onus while others believe that

happiness

depend

Change the verb form

depends

show examples

on some other factors

such

as wealth, employment, desire goals and objectives. I strongly agree with

this

statement for the following reasons.

To begin

with, some believe that

less

Change the quantifier

fewer

show examples

responsibilities can be increased the amount of

happiness

and

its

Correct pronoun usage

show examples

depend on the person's onus.

Satisfaction

cannot only come for

less

Change the quantifier

fewer

show examples

duties, if a man has

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

low work

duties

Correct the article-noun agreement

duty

show examples

Add the word(s)

but he also

show examples

would not

behappy

Correct your spelling

be happy

always

Add the comma(s)

, in contrast,

show examples

in contrast

he will be affected

Change preposition

by more

show examples

mental diseases due to loneliness.

For example

, if a father has a regular liability of

pickup

Correct your spelling

pick up

show examples

and drop to their kids

Change preposition

show examples

school, he would not

escaped

Change the verb form

escape

show examples

these kinds of responsibilities for not giving

happiness

and he should do that.

Thereforee

Correct your spelling

Therefore

less

Add a missing verb

being less

show examples

liable cannot give more

joyness

there are some aspects

can

Correct pronoun usage

that can

show examples

stimulates

Change the verb form

stimulate

show examples

equally.

Moreover

, there are some vital factors are

played

Change the form of the verb

playing

show examples

a crucial part of will bring

satisfaction

like work,

wealthy

Replace the word

wealth

show examples

, desire goals. Everybody

Change the verb form

likes

show examples

to live

Change preposition

apply

show examples

a wealthy lifestyle, they will be joy when they are being

affulent

Correct your spelling

affluent

and a good job can give more

satisfaction

and

gratified

Change the verb form

gratify

show examples

For example

, a recent report by the Times of India said that more than 70% of the population are being happy when they have

Remove the article

apply

show examples

good employment with a handsome salary.

In addition

, a man when will achieve to their's desire objectives while he will have happy tremendously.

Hence

these are the elements

rely

Correct pronoun usage

that rely

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

happiness

. To conclude, the

joyness

not only depends on the man's onus,

there are

Add the word(s)

but there are also

show examples

some other elements are

played

Wrong verb form

play

show examples

a crucial part

Change preposition

show examples

bringing

satisfaction

namely,

wealthy

Replace the word

wealth

show examples

, job, goals and objectives. So, I strongly agree with

this

statement in the above-mentioned details. I hope all the population should be gratified in their personal as well as professional lives.

Submitted by reanudeepan on Sat Oct 30 2021

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
32Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

327 words

6.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people think that global environmental problems should be dealt with globally. Others think that they should be solved locally. What is your opinion?

Some college freshmen find that the courses they choose are not suitable for them. What are the causes of this? What can be done to solve the problem?

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