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Writing Samples
Band 6

Some people believe that happiness is a person responsibility while other thinks it’s depend on other factors.Do you agree or disagree.

#people #happiness #person #responsibility #it’s #factors
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Happiness
 is the utmost significant aspect for the
humans
Replace the word
human
show examples
 life, without
joyness
Correct your spelling
joyless
 life is being terrible and
this
 can lead to getting more mental depressions. Some say that the
joyness
 rely on a person onus while others believe that
happiness
depend
Change the verb form
depends
show examples
 on some other factors
such
 as wealth, employment, desire goals and objectives. I strongly agree with
this
 statement for the following reasons.
To begin
 with, some believe that
less
Change the quantifier
fewer
show examples
 responsibilities can be increased the amount of
happiness
 and
its
Correct pronoun usage
it
show examples
 depend on the person's onus.
Satisfaction
 cannot only come for
less
Change the quantifier
fewer
show examples
 duties, if a man has
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
low work
duties
Correct the article-noun agreement
duty
show examples
,
he
Add the word(s)
but he also
show examples
 would not
behappy
Correct your spelling
be happy
 always
Add the comma(s)
, in contrast,
show examples
in contrast
 he will be affected
more
Change preposition
by more
show examples
 mental diseases due to loneliness.
For example
, if a father has a regular liability of
pickup
Correct your spelling
pick up
show examples
 and drop to their kids
to
Change preposition
at
show examples
 school, he would not
escaped
Change the verb form
escape
show examples
 these kinds of responsibilities for not giving
happiness
 and he should do that.
Thereforee
Correct your spelling
Therefore
,
less
Add a missing verb
being less
show examples
 liable cannot give more
joyness
 there are some aspects
can
Correct pronoun usage
that can
show examples
stimulates
Change the verb form
stimulate
show examples
 equally.
Moreover
, there are some vital factors are
played
Change the form of the verb
playing
show examples
 a crucial part of will bring
satisfaction
 like work,
wealthy
Replace the word
wealth
show examples
, desire goals. Everybody
like
Change the verb form
likes
show examples
 to live
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
a wealthy lifestyle, they will be joy when they are being
affulent
Correct your spelling
affluent
 and a good job can give more
satisfaction
 and
gratified
Change the verb form
gratify
show examples
.
For example
, a recent report by the Times of India said that more than 70% of the population are being happy when they have
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
good employment with a handsome salary.
In addition
, a man when will achieve to their's desire objectives while he will have happy tremendously.
Hence
 these are the elements
rely
Correct pronoun usage
that rely
show examples
 on
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
happiness
. To conclude, the
joyness
 not only depends on the man's onus,
there are
Add the word(s)
but there are also
show examples
 some other elements are
played
Wrong verb form
play
show examples
 a crucial part
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 bringing
satisfaction
 namely,
wealthy
Replace the word
wealth
show examples
, job, goals and objectives. So, I strongly agree with
this
 statement in the above-mentioned details. I hope all the population should be gratified in their personal as well as professional lives.
Submitted by reanudeepan on

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