IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

You have seen an advertisement in an Australian magazine for someone to live with a family for six months and look after their six-year-old child. Write a letter to the parents, In your letter explain why you would like the job give details of why you would be a suitable person to employ say how you would spend your free time while you are in Australia

#advertisement #australian #magazine #someone #six #months #child #parents #job #person #time #australia
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Dear Sir or Madam, I am writing to you about your recent advertisement in the magazine for someone to look after your child from March to September. I should let you know I was looking for an apropos career, child care category
in particular
Linking Words
, for several months. I am always passionate about working with kids. To explain more about myself, I am a professional child
care giver
Correct your spelling
caregiver
show examples
,
due to
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 my related
education
Replace the word
educational
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 background.
Moreover
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, I have had the experience of working in a kindergarten for five years. I should
also
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 mention that
,
Remove the comma
apply
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 I will manage to create a positive relationship with the young people. I believe that spending six months in Australia is a
grandeur
Replace the word
grand
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 opportunity for me.
Consequently
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, I can use my free time not only to polish my skills in English speaking but
also
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 to become familiar with the
Australian's
Change noun form
Australian
show examples
 culture. Please feel free if you require
further
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 information. Yours faithfully Ali
Submitted by ali on

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coherence cohesion
Vary your sentence structure and use cohesive devices to link ideas and paragraphs more effectively.
coherence cohesion
Structuring your letter into clear paragraphs will enhance readability.
coherence cohesion
Make sure each paragraph focuses on a single idea to maintain coherence.
task achievement
Elaborate more on why you are interested in the job and provide specific examples of your suitability.
task achievement
Maintain a consistent and appropriate tone throughout your letter.

The Greeting

Depending on the style and aim of the letter, you will need to adapt your greeting.

Always start an informal letter in the ways:

  • Dear + name
  • Hi / Hello + name

‘Dear...’ is more appropriate, so stick with this.

For a formal letter there are two options for the greeting:

  • Use Dear Sir or Madam if you don’t know the name of the person you are writing to.
  • Use Dear + surname if you do know their name, e.g. Dear Mr Smith or Dear Mrs Jones.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Childcare, Nurturing, Patience, Creativity, Early childhood development
  • Babysitting, Au pair, Engaging, Responsible, Enthusiastic
  • Safety, Trustworthy, Adaptability, Proactive, Cultural exchange
  • Activities, Educational games, Language skills, Exploring
  • Volunteering, Community involvement, Australian culture
  • Flexibility, Personal traits, Schedule, Enrichment
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