Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar.

At
first
glance
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,glance
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It is a good idea, but if you look deeper, it is impossible. On the one
hand
Add a comma
,hand
show examples
it is about money and since all
manufactures
Replace the word
manufacturers
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want more money and customer, so they try hard to produce sugary products as cheap as possible, advertise it and earn big
benefit
Fix the agreement mistake
benefits
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from selling
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
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,
on the other hand
, people like sugary products and used to it,
also
if you want to take it from them you should replace it with natural ones and since there isn’t enough natural
food
for everybody so you don’t succeed. In my
opinion
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,opinion
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it is a human being
fundamental
Add an article
a fundamental
the fundamental
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problem that means
,
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apply
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if you want to persuade people to consume natural foods you should
planting
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plant
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more fruits and vegetables,
this
needs more
water
, more field and more dung
,
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apply
show examples
since
water
sources are
limit
Wrong verb form
limited
show examples
and produce dung needs more livestock breeding and
also
breeding produce more Methane gas and it harms the environment so it can’t be balanced.
Therefore
, you need to do it
on
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in
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a cheap way. Producing sugar by planting
water saving
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water-saving
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products like sugar cane,
mix
Wrong verb form
mixing
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it with
water
and
add
Wrong verb form
adding
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some essence,
advertise
Wrong verb form
advertising
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and
sell
Wrong verb form
selling
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it to people, everyone is happy!!! To summarize, I think there is no way to balance these problems in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
nature, everyone wakes up earlier eats better
food
!! If you have more money, you eat better
food
. If you live in
better
Add an article
a better
show examples
place, you eat better
food
.
Submitted by poooria on

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    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • health problems
  • manufactured food and drink products
  • sugary products
  • excessive sugar consumption
  • discourage
  • promote
  • healthier choices
  • reduce
  • increased taxes
  • fund
  • health education
  • prevention programs
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