some people claim that public museums and art galleries will not be needed because people can see historical objects and works of art by using a computer. Do you agree or disagree?

#people #museums #art #galleries #objects #works #computer

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Dear Sir, I am writing to you regarding the article that you wrote

last

Linking Words

week about tourism in

Egypt

Use synonyms

. After reading the article I found that there is a significant number of misleading

information

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that might affect the national income of

Egypt

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in the future.

Firstly

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, you mentioned in the introduction that

Egypt

Use synonyms

has a nice seashore on the Dead

Sea

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, which is wrong because

Egypt

Use synonyms

looks at 2 seas: the Red

Sea

Use synonyms

and the Mediterranean.

This

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was mentioned in the introduction which is the first

information

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the reader gets from your essay, so it will stick to their minds. People usually enjoy the salty water of the Red

Sea

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Remove the comma

apply

show examples

and the pleasant

sea

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waves on the Mediterranean.

Secondly

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, your third paragraph mentioned that Isis was

initially

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associated

Change preposition

with

show examples

Sinai

Egypt

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. A piece of

information

Use synonyms

this

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one will literally destroy

Egypt

Use synonyms

's reputation in the whole world. It is crucial to fix these statements as soon as possible

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

because they will affect the number of tourists visiting

Egypt

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each year, and

hence

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decrease the Egyptian gross domestic product (GDP). You can start by mentioning the correct geographical location of

Egypt

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, as it is considered

Change preposition

apply

show examples

a charming place in the north of Africa, where the weather is delightful for the whole year.

Then

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, mention that the Isis

information

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was

initially

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founded in Afghanistan.

Furthermore

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, an official apology should be stated

at the end

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of the essay, in order not to cause any national conflicts. Thank you for your understanding. Kind Regards, Ahmed Moter

Submitted by bayoumy on Sun Oct 31 2021

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Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.

A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).

Stick to this essay structure:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction
Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

1 paragraphs

253 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

virtual
digital
online
accessibility
inclusivity
cultural heritage
physical experience
immersion
local tourism
economy

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some people claim that public museums and art galleries will not be needed because people can see historical objects and works of art by using a computer. Do you agree or disagree?

Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

Many people say that cooking and eating at home is better for the individual and the family than eating out in restaurants. Do you agree or disagree?

Some people believe that mobile phone conversations should be banned in crowded and social places, while others argue it is okay to be allowed. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Planting trees is very important. Some people say that trees should be planted in the vacant areas of cities and towns, while others say that housing facilities should be built instead. Do you agree or disagree?

Historical objects and artefacts should be brought back to their country of origin. To what extent do you agree or disagree?