IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

People nowadays tend to have children at older ages. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

#people #children #ages #outweigh
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Recently many
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
couples
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
 decided to have
child
Add an article
a child
show examples
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
 older ages. Older parents have more
experiences
Fix the agreement mistake
experience
show examples
to
Change preposition
in
show examples
 raising a baby but there is a strong likelihood that a good relationship between them in
childhood
Correct article usage
the childhood
show examples
 period will not
been
Change the verb form
be
show examples
 established. I will discuss both advantages and disadvantages of the issue in
this
Linking Words
 essay. Having
Correct article usage
a child
show examples
child
Fix the agreement mistake
children
show examples
Change preposition
at in
show examples
Change preposition
at
show examples
in
Correct your spelling
is
show examples
 older
ages
Fix the agreement mistake
age
show examples
 has some noticeable benefits for the family. Couples usually delay their parenthoods to make stable their economic and social positions in order to have a better lifestyle and to prepare more facilities for their
children
Use synonyms
 in the future. It is a fact that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 individuals can progress in their carrier and grab the opportunities before
entrance
Add an article
the entrance
show examples
 of
children
Use synonyms
to
Change preposition
into
show examples
 their life. As another benefit, experienced parents have a significant effect on
children
Use synonyms
’s
growing
Replace the word
growth
show examples
. To illustrate, a 30 years old woman most of the time has more knowledge in
take
Change the verb form
taking
show examples
 care of an infant in comparison to a 20 years old woman and of
course
Add a comma
,course
show examples
this
Linking Words
 is not a certainty. Nobody
cannot
Rewrite the sentence
can
show examples
 ignore the problems of late parenting. There is a lot of risks in late pregnancy which threaten both mother’s and
infant’s
Correct article usage
the infant’s
show examples
 health.
For instance
Linking Words
, being pregnant after age 35 makes certain complications more likely, including premature birth defects and getting pregnant with multiples.
In
Linking Words
addition
Add a comma
,addition
show examples
 the aged parents will probably not
able
Add a missing verb
be able
show examples
 to create
strong
Add an article
a strong
show examples
 emotional
relationship
Fix the agreement mistake
relationships
show examples
 with their
children
Use synonyms
, they do not have enough energy to play with them. In conclusion,
although
Linking Words
, late parenting has some hurdles
such
Linking Words
 as, late pregnancy problems and relationship issues, it has benefits like, having
higher
Correct article usage
a higher
show examples
 financial position and more awareness in educating the
children
Use synonyms
 which outweigh the disadvantages.
Submitted by poooria on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: