IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

Most artists earn low salaries and should therefore receive funding from the government in order for them to continue with their work. To what extent do you agree?

#artists #salaries #government #work
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Many careers in our actual society are not well-payed because we live in a
capitalism
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capitalist
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 economy. So, types of activities that are not selling goods or services, sometimes aren'
t
consider
Wrong verb form
considered
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 important. I
parcially
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partially
 agree with
goverment
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government
 has the
responsability
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responsibility
 to fund artists, on the one hand, there are many sectors to
have
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tohave
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 consider to fund: education, science
researchs
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research
, health, social programs, agriculture.
On the other hand
, sadly the
goverment
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government
 leaves at the end of the budget the arts programs,
as a
result
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,result
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this
 industry
haven'
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hasn't
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t
enought
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enough
 support to survive in difficult time like we are living now like the pandemic. The people that work for that sector not always are well-payed. Sometimes it isn'
t
 appreciated all types of arts and in
general
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,general
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 the market doesn'
t
 expend a lot of money
in
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on
show examples
this
 type of entertainment. That's why I think that
Correct your spelling
government
goverment
Correct article usage
the goverment
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 have to help
this
 industry and to support with more promotions and funding events; to spread the culture and to help the artists to survive working
for
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in
show examples
 that field. In conclusion, the
goverment
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government
 can help in different ways the art sector, not only with monetary budget but
also
 with promotions and as
individual
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individuals
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 we can
affort
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afford
effort
 the artists help them to enter their local events, spread
the
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their
show examples
 voice with families and friends and promote in our houses more cultural and arts activities.
Submitted by salmaraz on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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