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Writing Samples /
Band 3.5

Most artists earn low salaries and should therefore receive funding from the government in order for them to continue with their work. To what extent do you agree?

#artists #salaries #government #work
Many careers in our actual society are not well-payed because we live in a
capitalism
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capitalist
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 economy. So, types of activities that are not selling goods or services, sometimes aren'
t
consider
Wrong verb form
considered
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 important. I
parcially
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partially
 agree with
goverment
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government
 has the
responsability
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responsibility
 to fund artists, on the one hand, there are many sectors to
have
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tohave
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 consider to fund: education, science
researchs
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research
, health, social programs, agriculture.
On the other hand
, sadly the
goverment
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government
 leaves at the end of the budget the arts programs,
as a
result
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,result
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this
 industry
haven'
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hasn't
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t
enought
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enough
 support to survive in difficult time like we are living now like the pandemic. The people that work for that sector not always are well-payed. Sometimes it isn'
t
 appreciated all types of arts and in
general
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,general
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 the market doesn'
t
 expend a lot of money
in
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on
show examples
this
 type of entertainment. That's why I think that
Correct your spelling
government
goverment
Correct article usage
the goverment
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 have to help
this
 industry and to support with more promotions and funding events; to spread the culture and to help the artists to survive working
for
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in
show examples
 that field. In conclusion, the
goverment
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government
 can help in different ways the art sector, not only with monetary budget but
also
 with promotions and as
individual
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individuals
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 we can
affort
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afford
effort
 the artists help them to enter their local events, spread
the
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their
show examples
 voice with families and friends and promote in our houses more cultural and arts activities.
Submitted by salmaraz on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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