IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Some feel that school uniforms make schools safer for students, create a "level playing field" that reduces socioeconomic disparities and encourage children to focus on their studies rather than their clothes. Others say school uniforms infringe upon students' right to express their individuality, have no positive effect on behavior and academic achievement. Discuss both sides & give your opinion.

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Introduction
School
Use synonyms
 is most
integeral
Correct your spelling
integral
 part of our life as it makes a base of
Correct your spelling
children's
childrens
Change to a genitive case
children's
show examples
 future life.
Linking Words
Furthermore
Add a comma
,Furthermore
show examples
School
Use synonyms
dress
Change the verb form
dresses
show examples
repersents
Correct your spelling
represents
 the parity between students irrespective of their family status. Uniforms
shows
Change the verb form
show
show examples
 the identical identity of every single individual coming to
school
Use synonyms
 irrespective of their caste gender financial status.
Body paragraph 1
As clothes are
repersentative
Correct your spelling
representative
 of individuality,
school
Use synonyms
 dresses are important to bring equality. Classrooms are
place
Fix the agreement mistake
places
show examples
 to learn
things
Use synonyms
 from peers superiors irrespective of the individuality to which one belongs.
Childrens
Correct your spelling
Children's
Children
 can focus on their academics more rather than other distractions. Equality brings more closeness between people and collectively they will learn more
things
Use synonyms
 from each other.
Body paragraph 2
Whereas there
two
Add a missing verb
are two
show examples
 sides of coins. One side shows
favorable
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favourable
show examples
things
Use synonyms
 and
other
Correct article usage
the other
show examples
 have
unfavorable
Change the spelling
unfavourable
show examples
 sides. Moving to
Correct article usage
the other
show examples
other
Change the wording
another
show examples
 side, uniform can lead to
loss
Correct article usage
the loss
show examples
 of individuality of each student as an individual. Every person
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
different
Add an article
a different
show examples
 personality which is
repersented
Correct your spelling
represented
 by the
way
Use synonyms
 one is wearing clothes.
Therse
Correct your spelling
These
Those
There
 little
things
Use synonyms
brings
Change the verb form
bring
show examples
 vividness to the personality of an individual.
Body paragraph 3
Attire is the
way
Use synonyms
which
Correct pronoun usage
that
show examples
 reflects
personality
Add an article
the personality
show examples
 and thinking of an individual. Every colour which student selects reflects their
way
Use synonyms
 of thinking and the attitude they carry with
themselves
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
.
Conclusion
Schools can select specific days on which wearing
school
Use synonyms
 uniforms are mandatory and on some specific
days
Add a comma
,days
show examples
Correct your spelling
children
childrens
Correct your spelling
children
show examples
 can wear dresses of their own
choices
Fix the agreement mistake
choice
show examples
.
By
Change preposition
In
show examples
this
Linking Words
Use synonyms
way
Add a comma
,way
show examples
Use synonyms
school
Fix the agreement mistake
schools
show examples
 can maintain
balance
Add an article
a balance
the balance
show examples
 between both
school
Use synonyms
 uniforms and
non uniform
Add a hyphen
non-uniform
show examples
 attires. By opting
Linking Words
this
Change preposition
for this
show examples
 method children can explore each other more and learn more from their peers.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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