The growing number of overweight people is putting a strain on the helth care system in an effort to deal with the health issues involved. Some people think that the best way to deal with this problem to introduce more physical education lesson in the school curriculem. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

#people #strain #helth #care #system #effort #health #education #lesson #school #curriculem

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Because the

increase

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in the number of the overweight population put a lot of pressure on the healthcare system when going to handle the related issues with it. According to some, overcoming

this

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issue is the best

way

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to include physical activity lessons in

school

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education.I strongly agreed that

this

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is the best

way

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to tackle

this

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problem to avoid the unnecessary weight on the public

health

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system.

Firstly

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, to deal with the issues surrounding overweight and obesity is the long-lasting

way

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is introduce more sport and

activities

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during

school

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time

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This

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will ensure to eliminate the

health

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matters related to obesity from the future generation.On average the children in The USA have only two hours of activity

time

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during

school

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hours.

This

Linking Words

will not be enough to counteract their sedentary lifestyle. In

further

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, need to

increase

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the extracurricular

activities

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in the curriculum.

Secondly

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, With ,

increase

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the sports

activities

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in the

school

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time

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children will get more active and playful. At ,home their parents will involve with them to do the

activities

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In other words

Linking Words

, children will be extended the physical

activities

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to the home and their parents and encourage them to stay active. Undoubtedly It will

increase

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elders activity

time

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and improve their

health

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. In conclusion, adding extracurricular

activities

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to the

school

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curriculum will be the best

way

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to reduce the pressure on the

health

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system owning to the growth of the overweight population.

Submitted by aselaraj on Mon Nov 01 2021

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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5
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
6
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

8 paragraphs

235 words

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Fully explain your ideas

In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an ageing population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people. Do the advantages of having an ageing population outweigh the disadvantages?

Nowadays, a growing number of people with health problems are trying alternative medicines and treatments instead of visiting their usual doctor. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

In some contries, owing a home rather than renting one is very important for people. Why might this be the case? Do you think this is a positive or negative situation?

An increasing number of professionals, such as doctors and teachers , are leaving their own poor countries to work in developed countries. What problems does this cause? What can be done to deal with this situation?

Few people or some people believe that the government should provide benefits to the unemployed people whereas others believe the opposite.Please state your opining.