Government investment in the arts, such as music and theatre, is a waste of money. Governments must invest this money in public services instead. Do you agree or disagree?

In current days, many
entertainment
activities
such
as music, arts and theatre are invested by the
government
, yet one may argue that these
activities
are unnecessary and
money
-consuming, so the
gorvenment
Correct your spelling
government
should spend
money
on useful and productive
such
as social
services
. Personally, I myself can only agree with the opinion because
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
the following reasons. On the one hand, it is true that spending an enormous amount of
money
on
entertainment
is an unnecessary and wasteful activity in many poor countries where the living
conditions
of
people
are always substandard.
For example
, many
people
do not care about any things in lieu of their daily meals because they are living under strict challenging
conditions
in which the deficiency of both water and food appear on a daily basis, environmental pollutants can speedily harm them in any accidental case.
Moreover
, there is no doubt to say that many
entertainment
activities
highly cost, so ordinary
people
find it difficult to comfortably enjoy.
For instance
, if
people
want to enjoy up-to-date films which are currently appearing in cinemas, they have to spend an enormous of
money
to fully enjoy the most luxurious
services
which maybe not
perfectly
Add a missing verb
be perfectly
show examples
suitable for the individuals who are from the working class.
Hence
, the
government
should usefully spend
money
on social
services
which can increase individuals' living
conditions
On the other hand
,
people
cannot ignore the achievements of
entertainment
activities
through the development of modern society, so those things play an important role in both the mental and physical merits of persons.
Firstly
, work arts are for everybody, it is the most effective
ways
Fix the agreement mistake
way
show examples
to reduce stress after a day of hard work.
Second
, thanks to the development of
this
major, the
government
are currently creating an opportunity for unemployed individuals to find suitable jobs. In conclusion, even though work arts brings many merits to
people
, the
government
should proactively spend
money
on social
services
which can immediately improve the living
conditions
of thousands of
people
in their countries.
Hence
, I perfectly agree with the opinion after the vivid passage.
Submitted by Sofianguyen.kt176 on

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    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • cultural enrichment
  • expression of creativity
  • promote diversity
  • enhance social cohesion
  • boost tourism
  • job creation
  • stimulate economic growth
  • improve quality of life
  • essential services
  • maintenance and development
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