IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Government investment in the arts, such as music and theatre, is a waste of money. Governments must invest this money in public services instead. Do you agree or disagree?

#government #investment #arts #music #theatre #waste #money #governments #services
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In current days, many
entertainment
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activities
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such
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 as music, arts and theatre are invested by the
government
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, yet one may argue that these
activities
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 are unnecessary and
money
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-consuming, so the
gorvenment
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government
 should spend
money
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 on useful and productive
such
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 as social
services
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. Personally, I myself can only agree with the opinion because
of
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for
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 the following reasons. On the one hand, it is true that spending an enormous amount of
money
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 on
entertainment
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 is an unnecessary and wasteful activity in many poor countries where the living
conditions
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 of
people
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 are always substandard.
For example
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, many
people
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 do not care about any things in lieu of their daily meals because they are living under strict challenging
conditions
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 in which the deficiency of both water and food appear on a daily basis, environmental pollutants can speedily harm them in any accidental case.
Moreover
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, there is no doubt to say that many
entertainment
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activities
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 highly cost, so ordinary
people
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 find it difficult to comfortably enjoy.
For instance
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, if
people
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 want to enjoy up-to-date films which are currently appearing in cinemas, they have to spend an enormous of
money
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 to fully enjoy the most luxurious
services
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 which maybe not
perfectly
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be perfectly
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 suitable for the individuals who are from the working class.
Hence
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, the
government
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 should usefully spend
money
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 on social
services
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 which can increase individuals' living
conditions
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On the other hand
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,
people
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 cannot ignore the achievements of
entertainment
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activities
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 through the development of modern society, so those things play an important role in both the mental and physical merits of persons.
Firstly
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, work arts are for everybody, it is the most effective
ways
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way
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 to reduce stress after a day of hard work.
Second
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, thanks to the development of
this
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 major, the
government
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 are currently creating an opportunity for unemployed individuals to find suitable jobs. In conclusion, even though work arts brings many merits to
people
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, the
government
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 should proactively spend
money
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 on social
services
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 which can immediately improve the living
conditions
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 of thousands of
people
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 in their countries.
Hence
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, I perfectly agree with the opinion after the vivid passage.
Submitted by Sofianguyen.kt176 on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • cultural enrichment
  • expression of creativity
  • promote diversity
  • enhance social cohesion
  • boost tourism
  • job creation
  • stimulate economic growth
  • improve quality of life
  • essential services
  • maintenance and development
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