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Band 5

Nowadays, many families have both parents working. Some working parents believe that other family members like grandparents can take care of their children, while others think childcare centres can provide the best care. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#families #parents #members #grandparents #care #children #childcare #centres
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Work has become
an
Change the article
a
show examples
 dispensable part of every person life as money is necessary, so both parents are working.
Although
Linking Words
 it is sometimes thought
grandparents
Use synonyms
 are the best option to take care of
children
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, others believed that
children
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 can
learne
Correct your spelling
learn
 many more things from
childcare
Use synonyms
centres
Use synonyms
. In my opinion, I considered that
grandparents
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 could be taught an important skill to
Use synonyms
child
Add an article
the child
a child
show examples
, but the importance of
childcare
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centres
Use synonyms
 should not be
neglacted
Correct your spelling
neglected
. A good reason why
grandparents
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 should look after
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
child
Use synonyms
 is that they can teach them moral values and it
Correct your spelling
is
show examples
it
Correct your spelling
is
show examples
 not possible at daycare
centres
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 because they have direct interaction with the
child
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, so
Use synonyms
child
Add an article
the child
a child
show examples
 can be learnt
sense
Correct article usage
a sense
show examples
 of
indentification
Correct your spelling
identification
.
For example
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,
grandparents
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 tell them
a stories
Correct the article-noun agreement
a story
stories
show examples
 regarding personal and professional life from their experience, it can gain the intellectual development and
charecter
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character
 traits.
Therefore
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, the closet members
is
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are
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 essential to
develope
Correct your spelling
develop
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child's
Correct article usage
a child's
show examples
 growth. Another point to consider why
grandparents
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 can take care of their
children
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 is that they are very punctual as they do all things on time like giving
a food
Remove the article
food
a portion of food
show examples
,
to put
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putting
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 the
child
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into
Change preposition
to
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 sleep and
go
Wrong verb form
going
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 for walking. they never missed the
child
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 routine.
For instance
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, I remember when I was small I was looked after by my family members and they always take care of my habit
as
Change preposition
apply
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regarding time.
Hence
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,
children
Use synonyms
 would be improved useful skills with
grandparents
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.
On the other hand
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, in
childcare
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
centres
Add a comma
,centres
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children
Use synonyms
 grow socially and emotionally because
children
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 play with other
children
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 and learn communication.
In addition
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, teachers
are always be
Change the verb form
are always
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 careful about
child
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 development.
Furthermore
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,
children
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 can teach there how to build
Add an article
a relationship
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relationship
Fix the agreement mistake
relationships
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 with others. so,
Wrong verb form
putting
show examples
put
Correct your spelling
but
show examples
 the
children
Use synonyms
 into babycare
centers
Change the spelling
centres
show examples
 is not
bad
Add an article
a bad
show examples
 idea. In conclusion, working parents should put their
children
Use synonyms
 with
grandparents
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 as they are very helpful to grow
child
Use synonyms
's personal life, but
childcare
Use synonyms
centres
Use synonyms
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
 own importance
also
Linking Words
.
Submitted by patelpayal8296 on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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