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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Complete the essay Some people say that individuals who make a lot of money are the most successful. Others think that those who contribute to society like scientists and teachers are more successful. Discuss both sides and give your own opinion

#people #individuals #money #society #scientists #teachers
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Many today believe that a wealthy person is regarded as successful, while others support community contributors as a greater accomplishment.
Although
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 intelligent workers can receive appraise and reliability from the public, it cannot offset the prolonged measure of
success
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, money.
Accordingly
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, I consider affluence weighs more than achievement. One of the reasons behind the possession proponents’ point of view is that money will give
people
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 a much easier and comfortable life.
For example
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, the rich who have the ability to purchase a massive mansion with adequate facilities can live with high security, automatic appliances, and dedicated domestic workers. It is unnecessary for these prosperous
people
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 to do tedious household chores while they can use washing machines, artificial intelligence robots, and modern anti-theft systems. Only wealthy
people
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 can afford these devices which definitely enhance the living standards.
Therefore
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, a person having a prosperous life can be regarded as successful because they can live conveniently.
On the other hand
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, those who advocate for intelligent
people
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 consider positive public influence as a measure of
success
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. By the way of illustration, doctors who are trying their best to save patients’ lives from Coronaviruses gain much respect from the press as well as the public. Even though they have to wear protective clothing,
to
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apply
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sacrifice their leisure time, and
to
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apply
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directly contact
with
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apply
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people
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 with SARS- Cov2,
people
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 call these doctors heroes. In that case, the community contributors
also
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 motivate other citizens to stay at home and obey the rules of social distancing.
Therefore
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, scientists, teachers, and doctors can achieve
the
Correct article usage
apply
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success
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 that way. In conclusion, the
success
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 scale depends on each
people
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. From my perspective,
although
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 intelligent contributors are highly recognized by the public, it can not be denied that these
people
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 have less opportunity to enjoy their lives than
the
Change the word
their
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 wealthy counterparts.
As a result
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, I consider
people
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 who earn plenty of cash to be triumphant.
Submitted by thanh.jenny on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • financial prosperity
  • capitalizing
  • luxury travel
  • exclusive experiences
  • contributions to society
  • humanitarian workers
  • lasting impact
  • highly subjective
  • cultural, societal, and personal values
  • comfort and security
  • deeper personal satisfaction
  • holistic understanding
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