IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

People today generally have better lives than people in the past did. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In every single year, humans' daily life has been developing every second to make our
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
 and
environmental
Correct article usage
the environmental
show examples
surrounding
Fix the agreement mistake
surroundings
show examples
 get better in all aspects. Nowadays, the populations have better
lives
Use synonyms
 than
people
Use synonyms
 in the previous period did. From my point of view, I agree with
this
Linking Words
 viewpoint for many supporting seasons,
such
Linking Words
 as providing more basic facilities and
communication
Use synonyms
 channels with technology.
This
Linking Words
 essay will
describe
Wrong verb form
be described
show examples
 in the following paragraphs.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, the public facility for the community has supported populations in
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 country more than in the past.
In other words
Linking Words
, both government agencies and business sectors have been collaborating to develop and renovate the public facilities to provide residents with more convenience than the previous day. The public transportation system was a tangible thing;
for example
Linking Words
, when a sky train was coming to an urban city,
people
Use synonyms
 had more choices to transport from their home to work every day,
instead
Linking Words
 of using the bus, which might be slower than
sky
Correct article usage
the sky
show examples
 train.
As a result
Linking Words
, the foundation system, which highly
impacted
Wrong verb form
impacts
show examples
people
Use synonyms
's daily
lives
Use synonyms
, can noticeably improve our citizens'
better
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
lives
Use synonyms
 than
the
Change preposition
in the
show examples
 former period.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, the
communication
Use synonyms
 channel is one of the most explicit exemplars. Before the Internet era
came
Verb problem
apply
show examples
,
people
Use synonyms
 had sent simple letters or telegraphs to other
people
Use synonyms
 for
communication
Use synonyms
. It took a long time and faced many obstacles that
people
Use synonyms
 could not
forecast
Verb problem
have forecast
show examples
 in advance. Once the Internet was developed in our world, the transmission methods
have been
Wrong verb form
were
show examples
 changed forever.
People
Use synonyms
 use the benefit of the Internet to keep in touch with each other and work for the business;
for example
Linking Words
, parents can send emails to their children who learn overseas. The business worker can immediately have an online meeting with other
people
Use synonyms
 across the world without
physical
Replace the word
physically
show examples
 moving. For the above reason, the
communication
Use synonyms
 method that applies
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
technology makes humans more efficient and effective than in the past. In conclusion, many improvements commenced every day, both fundamental needs and
communication
Use synonyms
 channels, impacted
community's
Correct article usage
the community's
show examples
lives
Use synonyms
 to get more
benefit
Fix the agreement mistake
benefits
show examples
 and convenience in the present than in the past.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

grammar
Many lines are hard to read. Use short, simple sentences to make the text clear.
grammar
Fix tense and form. For example, say 'In the past people had' rather than 'the past did'.
coherence
Use clear joining words to link ideas, like 'also', 'but', and 'for example'.
content
Give more real and clear examples that show how life changes in the past and now.
content
The writer states a clear view in the intro.
structure
There are two main ideas in the body.
language
Examples on transport and the web are used.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Familiarity
  • Comfort
  • Social ties
  • Family ties
  • Belonging
  • Resources
  • Opportunities
  • Fear
  • Unknown
  • Financial constraints
  • Cultural attachment
  • Language barriers
  • Limited education
  • Skills
What to do next:
Look at other essays: