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Band 5.5

It is impossible to help all people in the world, so governments should focus on people in their own countries. To what extend you agree or disagree?

#people #world #governments #focus #countries
It is often argued that helping people all over the world seems infeasible;
therefore
, the
government
 should meet their own individual’s needs. While I admit that there are some drawbacks, I completely concur with
this
 statement. On the one hand, by supporting other nations, authorities could guarantee their future when they get into trouble. To illustrate, the
government
 could establish a connection among one another to create a dependency,
shaping
Wrong verb form
shaped
show examples
 by aid.
For instance
, a country like Iran always make a significant contribution to its neighbours in harsh situations;
as a
result
Add a comma
,result
show examples
 has a plethora of advocate.
Moreover
, due to
humanitarian
Correct article usage
the humanitarian
show examples
 sense, it necessitates that countries help each other. On the whole,
although
 it seems impossible to support all general populations all over the globe, governments could supply several nations for critical times.
On the other hand
, the role of the
government
 in meeting people’s needs is indispensable.
That is
 to say, every country should furnish the welfare of their populations, due to the fact that people are the foundation of every state. It means, should governments do not pay attention to people’s demands, they will be potentially no longer survive.
For example
, in past decades, owing to the unsatisfactory of individuals in Iran, they decided to alter the regime through the riot.
That is
 why the
government
 should adequately finance people in the
first
 place. To conclude,
although
 governments by advocating just individuals from their own country lose some supports, ultimately it leads to satisfaction of their own society.
Submitted by m.younesi7093 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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