IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

People in big cities are facing many health challenges due to a high level of air pollution. What causes air pollution in big cities? Can you suggest some ways to deal with this situation?

#people #cities #health #challenges #level #air #pollution #situation
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Pollution
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 has become a big problem across the world and needs to be prevented.
people
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 are facing many
health
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 challenges all around the earth because of a high level of
air
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pollution
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. In
this
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 essay, I will explain the causes of
air
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pollution
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 and I will suggest
a possible solutions
Correct the article-noun agreement
possible solutions
a possible solution
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 to
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solve
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slove
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solve
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 the problem. A good reason why
air
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pollution
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 is increasing is nothing but
a
Correct article usage
the
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 overuse of vehicles.
People
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 are using more personal vehicle to go everywhere rather than public transport, so there
are
Change the verb form
is
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 too much carbon monoxide in the
air
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 and it is very dangerous for
health
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.
Furthermore
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, Big cities have many industries
who
Correct pronoun usage
that
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 emit harmful gases in the
air
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, humans are directed infected by them and they may have
a lung problems
Correct the article-noun agreement
lung problems
a lung problem
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.
Therefore
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, it can say
air
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pollution
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 is a challenging issue because of factories and
vehicle
Fix the agreement mistake
vehicles
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. Another point to consider that rising
air
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pollution
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 is that big cities have taken a place of trees.
For instance
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, many tall buildings in urban areas are built by deforestation, so they do not have any factor to protect the
pollution
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.
In addition
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,
people
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 can not get fresh
air
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 and are affected by many
health
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 issues.
On the other hand
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, there are numerous ways to stop it.
Firstly
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,
government
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the government
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 should encourage
people
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 to use public transport
instead
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 of their own vehicle.
Secondly
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, the owners of a big industry should have a proper system to relieve the detrimental gases.
Finally
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, it is needed to plant more trees around the city. In conclusion,
air
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pollution
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 is
a
Remove the article
apply
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challenging for big cities as it has many
health
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 problems but it can be solved.
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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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