IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4

The most effective way to solve traffic and transport problems in the cities is to discourage people from the suburbs or the countryside from moving to the cities. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#traffic #transport #cities #people #suburbs #countryside
Some
people
 believed that the most practical way for solving traffic and transport problems in towns is to discourage individuals not to
move
 to
cities
 from
suburbs
Correct article usage
the suburbs
show examples
 and
countryside
. It may be a good solution but it could not
the
Add a missing verb
be the
show examples
 most effective remedy for
this
 matter. I strongly disagree with the idea for the given reasons. It is irrefutable that we pay
tax
Add an article
the tax
a tax
show examples
 that the government spend it on improving transportation system and roads as much as needed;
therefore
, banning
people
 to migrate to
cities
 from
countryside
Add an article
the countryside
show examples
 is the simplest way for authorities not to do their responsibility properly.
Instead
, by improving the infrastructures and long-term urban architectural plans it would be possible to control traffic congestions and to solve transportation problems even if too many
people
 decided to
move
 to bigger
cities
.
Furthermore
, it is impossible to stop
people
 to
move
 to bigger
cities
 because of
lots
Correct article usage
the lots
show examples
 of opportunities they may have in bigger
cities
.
For instance
, let’s think about a person who
accepted
Add a missing verb
was accepted
show examples
in
Change preposition
into
show examples
university
Correct article usage
a university
show examples
 in a big town he moved from his small
countryside
 to that city. After his graduation he found a good career, he married in
this
 city, and after a
while
Add a comma
,while
show examples
 their new baby was born.
This
 family has lived in
this
 city for many years and it looks impossible to ask them to go back to their rural life again. So, by convincing
people
 not to come to
cities
 there is no guarantee that they would not migrate because when they decided to
move
, they have adequate reasons to leave their comfort zones and experience new challenges.
As a result
, the problem of transport and traffic congestion is not going to solve by encouraging individuals to stay in their
countryside
.
Submitted by TUTOO on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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