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Band 6.5

The charts below show the levels of participation in education and science in developing and industrialised countries in 1980 and 1990

The charts below show the levels of participation in education and science in developing and industrialised countries in 1980 and 1990
#show #levels #participation #education #science #countries
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The given bar graphs depict the different
Use synonyms
level
Fix the agreement mistake
levels
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 of
students involvements
Fix the agreement mistake
student involvement
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 in various sectors which held among developing and industrialized
countries
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 in the time period
of
Change preposition
between
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 1980 and 1990.
Overall
Linking Words
, it is apparent that
,
Remove the comma
apply
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 Industrialized regions had the highest
level
Use synonyms
 of participation in all sectors
such
Linking Words
 as education, science and research for both years. It is clear from the chart that the participation
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 education from developing nations was around 2 in 1980 and 3 in 1990.
On the contrary
Linking Words
, the industrialized sector in average schooling rapidly increased to 8 in 1980 and 10 in 1990.
Similarly
Linking Words
, the
developing
Correct quantifier usage
number of developing
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countries
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 in
science
Correct article usage
the science
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 domain was low when compared to industrialized
countries
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 in both years. Precisely, 40 in 1980 which soared to approximately 70 in 1990 In
research
Correct article usage
the research
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 and development stream, the
level
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 of engagement was below 50 in 1980 and 1990 for developing
countries
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,
whereas
Linking Words
 the industrialized
countries
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 depict that the
level
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 dramatically raised to 150 in 1980 and 400 in 1990.
Submitted by priyankasumathi21 on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words level, countries with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "depict" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • enrollment rates
  • primary education
  • secondary education
  • tertiary education
  • literacy rates
  • scientific research
  • research and development (R&D)
  • correlation
  • gender disparities
  • participation
  • developing countries
  • industrialized countries
  • investment
  • comparison
  • impact
  • specified years
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