IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

In schools and universities girls tend use arts while boys like science.What are the reasons for this trend? And do you think this tendency should be changed?

#schools #universities #girls #arts #boys #science #trend #tendency
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
It can be clearly seen that female students prefer arts and male ones are into sciences. One of the main reasons for it is a difference in thinking between both sexes. Personally, I would say that changing
this
Linking Words
 tendention is not necessary
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 if the results of a certain work do not depend on a worker's sex.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, l would like to comment on the reason I mentioned above. Men and women have been always dealing with hardships throughout all human history and they were splitting the responsibilities most of the time. While men were chasing down their prey, women were looking after children,
therefore
Linking Words
, the
next
Linking Words
 generations were adopting current lifestyles and mindsets from their parents.
That is
Linking Words
 why girls prefer socially-oriented studies while boys try themselves in highly competitive research areas.
Secondly
Linking Words
, l want to provide the reader with the information why I disagree with the view that discussing trends has to be changed. Nowadays, many tasks require a deep understanding of core subjects, special skills and the ability to communicate with other people effectively. So, employers simply do not take into account candidates' sexes and focus on their capability to work on certain projects. These commonly acknowledged rules, to my mind, form the basis of the working force market, so no changes are needed. To conclude, there is a distinct difference in choosing a future job among men and women, which exists because of traditional ways of living. It is predicted, that many gender activists will try to equalize the number of male and female workers in all working fields, but, as I said, it is not a big issue.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: