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Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

It’s time to ban social media. It has been shown that it has made life worse for people all over the world, from politics, to self-image, to the spread of disinformation. It is a social experiment that has not worked and it is time to say goodbye.To what extent do you agree with the above statement?

#it’s #time #ban #media #life #people #world #politics #self-image #spread #disinformation #experiment #goodbye
I think
social
Add an article
the social
show examples
 network is a double-edged sword, if we know how to use
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
, it's very good,
social
Add an article
the social
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 network has so many good sides, but I think in life now it's not as good as people expect
. .
Replace the punctuation
.
...
show examples
The harm that it brings
such
 as :reduce human-to-human interaction ,distracting personal goals , risk of
depression
, killing creativity,insomnia,there were
rumors
Change the spelling
rumours
show examples
 of social networking sites selling
users
' personal
information
, adding more risks from hackers and viruses. These all warn that personal privacy is gradually lost while social
networks
 grow.We can have personal
information
 stolen, they use it to do bad things.
Depression
 is
also
 a consequence of using social networking sites with
users
. The "virtual" communication reduces the need for face-to-face communication, resulting in
users
 talking less, less interacting with people. Negative
information
 and comments on social
networks
, especially
facebook
Change the capitalization
Facebook
show examples
, when not seen as sober,
also
 lead to expressions of sadness,
depression
, pessimism, despair, etc. Many
users
 have committed suicide after receiving it. malicious comments or being ostracized, isolated on social
networks
. Long-term use of social
networks
 leads to insomnia, anxiety, stress, etc., these factors are
favorable
Change the spelling
favourable
show examples
 conditions for the onset of
depression
, worsening of
depression
 and vice versa. Even many
users
 do not want to communicate in real but just stay at home to perform "virtual" communication.Risk of exposure to inaccurate and unhealthy
information
:as a channel to receive
information
,
however
, the
information
 on social
networks
 is not verified, leading to many inaccurate
information
, misleading content or "joke"
information
, "like sentences". , "sensation" makes
users
 often fall into a state of stress, nervousness, and anxiety.But I think it's not yet time to say goodbye,
instead
 we should take advantage of the good and eliminate the bad
Submitted by pierre-vandenberg on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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