IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Space exploration costs taxpayers an exorbitant amount of money each year. What are the advantages and disadvantages of spending money on space exploration?

#space #exploration #costs #taxpayers #amount #money #year
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Each year countries spend huge amounts of
money
Use synonyms
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 their
space
Use synonyms
programmes
Correct your spelling
programs
show examples
. These missions require billions of dollars to be done and the
money
Use synonyms
 comes from their citizens. Sometimes is not clear what are the advantages of these
space
Use synonyms
 programmes but a lot of the technology
that is
Linking Words
 used in telecommunications comes from here. NASA is the biggest aerospace programme in the world, funded by the United States of America. When they spend these large sums of
money
Use synonyms
 on their missions,
people
Use synonyms
 might think that exploring
space
Use synonyms
 is a waste of time and
money
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
, these missions have a purpose to discover what is over and beyond our knowledge.
This
Linking Words
 is important because some discoveries can change the way
people
Use synonyms
 do things on a regular basis.
For example
Linking Words
, if it was not
because
Change preposition
for
show examples
they
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
 and their equals in Russia, satellites would not exist.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, the amount of
money
Use synonyms
 they spend can be overwhelming. Their budget can be bigger than a whole
country
Change noun form
country's
show examples
 budget. They will use the
money
Use synonyms
 to try things that may not affect
Use synonyms
people
Change noun form
people's
show examples
 life.
Also
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
 can be suffering from hunger or lack of health and education
while
Linking Words
 their government is spending billions on sending radio waves into
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
deep
space
Use synonyms
.
For example
Linking Words
, India has a strong spacial programme
although
Linking Words
 its population is one of the poorest in the world. In resume, it is important to keep investigating and seeking more in the spacial area but not if that means
people
Use synonyms
 will suffer
of
Change preposition
from
show examples
lack
Correct article usage
a lack
show examples
 of hospitals or schools. The
money
Use synonyms
 that governments use is from their citizens, so it should be used for what is better for them.
Submitted by alvarobsaavedra on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Task Response
The essay addresses the topic of space exploration costs and its advantages and disadvantages. However, the ideas presented could be further developed and more specific examples could be provided to support the arguments.
Coherence and Cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are present, but the essay lacks a clear structure. Each paragraph should focus on a specific aspect of the topic and transition smoothly to the next.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: