successul sports professionals can earn a great deal more money than people in other important professions. Some people think this is fully justified while others think it is unfair.

As a fan of many types of
sports
, I am
nevertheless
surprised knowing that successful
sports
professionals
, Jordan,
for example
, can earn much more money than other successful
professionals
in other
sectors
. I know that some
people
think it is fully justified
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
because to be successful in
sports
, a person must be trained from the very early childhood and has to work very hard every day. They have to sacrifice many joys of
life
in order to save time for
practicing
Change the spelling
practising
show examples
, for becoming stronger and more
skillful
Change the spelling
skilful
show examples
. And they have a very risky
life
– a lot of injuries may happen during the games and competitions that may lead to long-term health effects
such
as cracked bones or disability in the rest of their
life
or event to death.
Moreover
,
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
sports
professional
Fix the agreement mistake
professionals
show examples
usually cannot sustain their job for long.
Usually
Add a comma
,Usually
show examples
they will get retired
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
early
Correct pronoun usage
their early
show examples
40s, and most of them will not have
very
Correct article usage
a very
show examples
good income afterwards.
On the other hand
, some other
people
think that it is unfair that successful
sports
professionals
can earn more than other successful
professionals
in other
sectors
, says, teachers or scientists. These
people
think that a scientist uses his brain and
also
works very hard. And his invention can lead to a very big change to the whole world and to the whole human
life
.
Therefore
, how can David Beckham earn a million
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
dollars just from a TV advertisement, while the Nobel
winner
Replace the word
winning
show examples
prize for physics earns only several hundred thousand dollars for a year? It’s totally unfair. My point is there should be a better scheme for wealth allocation
,
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apply
show examples
so that successful and talented
people
in other
sectors
can be paid better. Possibly a good taxation system can help to do it. So on the one hand, the
sports
Correct your spelling
sportspeople
show examples
people
can still be highly paid for their efforts, but other
professionals
in other
sectors
can
also
be recognized for their works and contribution to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society.
Submitted by hhuong61917 on

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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
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