Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Write at least 250 words. Some people think that people who have committed crimes should do unpaid community work such as helping a charity or cleaning the streets, rather than spending time in prison.

#people #crimes #community #work #charity #streets #time #prison

Across the globe,

people

are sent to prison for the

crimes

they committed. Some

people

argue that the criminals should help with

community

work without being paid

instead

of being sent to

jail

. I strongly agree with the statement and I will discuss my reasons in

this

essay. Do good and good things will come to you.

This

is a phrase that I always hold on to and in

this

case, I believe that putting the criminals in a good

community

will help them to be

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

better

person

Fix the agreement mistake

people

show examples

This

is because

people

tend to learn from what they see and hear.

In addition

to that, everybody has a soft spot deep inside their heart but sadly they are not exposed to positive environments in order for them to differentiate between right and

wrong doings

Correct your spelling

wrongdoings

show examples

. By putting these

people

in a good

community

and encouraging them to do good things without expecting a return, I believe

this

will give a spark in their

heart

Fix the agreement mistake

hearts

show examples

to be a better

person

Fix the agreement mistake

people

show examples

in future. As

on the other hand

, if we send them to

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

jail

, they might not realise the good side of themselves and keep drowning in the dark.

Secondly

, I am certain that those who committed

crimes

deserve a

second

chance. Many of them regretted what they have done and wish to undo their

crimes

Besides

, they are willing to do anything to gain back the trust

from

Change preposition

show examples

their families, friends, as well as

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

communities. I have seen a man who had to steal some food for his children, begged the police not

send

Fix the infinitive

to send

show examples

him to

jail

and in return, he is willing to work as a cleaner in the supermarket unpaid. As we can see here, many are driven into doing

crimes

due to struggles in life. They are desperate and have reached the end of the road before

decided

Wrong verb form

deciding

show examples

to commit the crime. These

people

definitely deserve a

second

chance. In conclusion, I utterly agree with the proposal where those who commit

crimes

deserved not to be sent to

jail

but should be given the opportunity to pay back to society. It is clear that putting them back in the

community

brings more advantages than throwing them behind bars.

Submitted by haifabentalib on Fri Nov 05 2021

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
10Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

372 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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