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Band 4.5

Art and music are considered some of the fundamental elements of the society. Do you think art and music still have a place in today's modern world of technology? Should children spend more time learning art and music at school?

Art
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,music,
dance
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 and various other fine
arts
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 are considered to be an inseparable part of society and are integrated into our culture.In the past,most
people
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's professions were based on these
arts
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.
Howeverin
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However
this
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 modern era of technology ,we hardly find any
people
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 practising these
arts
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.The way these fundamental elements affect society and how the young generation's interest in these elements
be
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can be
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 improved will be elucidated in
this
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 essay.
Firstly
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, with the invention of new technology like mobile phones ,televisions
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, etc.
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etc.
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etc.,
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people
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's focus is shifted from the
art
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forms
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.They find these
art
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forms
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 boring and consider them to be old-fashioned.So,we find very few
people
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focussing
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focusing
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 on these
art
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forms
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.But still, there are some
people
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 who give respect to the
art
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forms
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 and master them.
For example
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,office employees ,to escape the stress resulting from their hectic schedule, sing or
dance
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 whenever they find free time.We still have
people
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 admiring the work of great artists like Pablo Picasso,
Leandro Da
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Leonardo da
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 Vinci.These artists are remembered for their great paintings
and
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, and
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 folks appreciate and compliment their work.
However
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,not many of them are interested as they are stuck in their busy life. As the number of
people
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 who practice and have their profession in the artworks is very
less
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less,
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 there is a possibility for the public to completely forget them.Especially
art
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forms
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 like sculpture.So special care must be taken and their value must be known and recognised.
This
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 should begin right from childhood.Children should be made familiar with all kinds of
works
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work
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and
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, and
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 the academic calendar of the schools must include them ,giving top priority.By adding
dance
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,music to the timetable of the schools,they might become famous singers and musicians.
For instance
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,the world's top-class dancer got his inspiration from his
dance
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 teacher from school.
Also
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,care must be taken in balancing both academics and artworks.
To conclude
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,every individual must know that
art
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 and music play an indispensable role in their lives.
Also
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,it is necessary for today's generation should show enthusiasm and learn.It is our responsibility as teachers and parents to explain and allow them to learn these fine
arts
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 if they are really interested.

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task response
Plan your essay before you write. Say your view in the first part and restate it in the end.
coherence
Make one clear idea in each paragraph. Use a simple topic sentence to start.
coherence
Use connecting words to show how ideas link, for example, also, but, because, first, then.
grammar
Check grammar and break long sentences. Use short, easy sentences.
facts
Be careful with spelling of names and facts. Use correct details.
examples
Give specific and clear examples to back your point, not too many or vague.
lexical
Use simple common words from the top 100. Avoid hard words that are not in easy use.
content
You show a real belief that art and music are useful to life.
structure
You note the idea of teaching art in schools can help the young.
content
You provide real aims for the essay and some examples to show your point.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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