In many countries, an increase in crime has been blamed on violent images on TV and computer and video games. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion

#countries #crime #images #tv #computer #video #games

The exposure to

voilence

Correct your spelling

violence

and computer has increased rapidly in

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

recent days thereby increasing the crime rate.

Although

, in my opinion, the

content

/computers

are

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show examples

Change the article

the

show examples

main cause, we cannot blame them entirely as there are other underlying factors which affects a person's personality.

and computers have become an inevitable part of our lives and we have access to all sorts of

content

thats

Correct your spelling

that's

that

possibly available. Most of the

content

these days subtly or evidently use violence as their weapon to get what they need and

this

leaves a bad impression among the viewers. They

also

teach that fighting for what you love is never wrong. So people get influenced and use violence to get things done. But we cannot blame the

/computers entirely for their

behavior

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behaviour

show examples

. Their

behavior

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behaviour

show examples

is highly influenced by their friends and the family

cirumstances

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circumstances

they are exposed to. If they see a father and a mother fighting at home or if friends fighting among themselves there is a high chance that they will pick up their

behaviors

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behaviours

show examples

. So parents have to

very

Add a missing verb

be very

show examples

cautious about how they behave in front of the kids and

also

their

responsiblity

Correct your spelling

responsibility

to check the kind of friends circle their child is a part of as they tend to leave lasting impressions. So, in my opinion,

although

I agree that the

content

in media is a cause for the

raise

Correct your spelling

rise

show examples

in crime and violence there are

also

other factors that affect one's

behavior

Change the spelling

behaviour

show examples

. So we cannot entirely blame

/computer without identifying the underlying factor.

Submitted by Shravya.vijayadurai on Fri Nov 05 2021

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Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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3Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
13Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

258 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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In many countries, an increase in crime has been blamed on violent images on TV and computer and video games. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

With the rapid development of communication technology, such as smartphones, tablets, and other mobile devices, some people think the disadvantages outweigh its advantages. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

These days people in some countries are living in a “throwaway” society which means people use things in a short time then throw them away. What do you think is the cause and what problem will it lead to?

Families who do not send their children to government-financed schools should not be required to pay taxes that support universal education. Do you agree or disagree?

Some people believe that government money should be spent on important things than arts such as painting and music. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation, such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money. Others argue that it is better to try and improve such situations. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.