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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

🔶More and more people are eating healthy food and exercising regularly. 🔸What are the reasons for that? What can we do to make other people do the same?

Health
Use synonyms
 is the most important thing in a human's life because
this
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 refers to well-being in
life
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life,
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 as some
people
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say
Punctuation problem
say,
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 "
Healthy
Fix the agreement mistake
Health
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 is wealth".
Therefore
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, nowadays many
people
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 are likely to have new lifestyles
such
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 as
doing exercise
Wrong verb form
exercising
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 and eating healthy
food
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. In
this
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 essay, I will elucidate the reason for
this
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 statement and how to persuade others to have a healthy lifestyle, and the following examples will be provided to support my point of view.
To begin
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 with, the reason for having healthy
food
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 and exercising regularly is to prevent diseases. To extend
this
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, many serious well-being problems
such
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 as cardiovascular
condition
Fix the agreement mistake
conditions
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, stroke
or
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, or
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 usually healthy issues
such
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 as diabetic type 2
, Hypertension
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diabetes, Hypertension
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, Hyperlipidemia
which
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, which
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have
Verb problem
are
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 found in most of the
population
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population,
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 are caused by unhealthy behaviours
such
Linking Words
 as eating fast
food
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,
high calories
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high-calorie
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food
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,
high lipid
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high-lipid
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food
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 or even
abandon
Wrong verb form
abandoning
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exercises
Fix the agreement mistake
exercise
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.
Furthermore
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, it is clearly seen that patients who have these diseases need to spend time getting treatment or
follow up
Use the right word
follow-up
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 and
also
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 spend a lot of money on
health
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 expenses.
Thus
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, changing to healthy habits is more popular in communities, especially in
urbanisation
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urban areas,
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 in order to prevent
health
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 problems.
However
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, the way to persuade mass socialisation to do the same is by increasing
awareness
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which
Punctuation problem
, which
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 means increasing knowledge level and changing the attitude of having healthy behaviours.
Firstly
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, the authorisation should have an
awareness
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 of a healthy life campaign through social media platforms
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
 can approach
people
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 in all communities by showing the harm of each
disease
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.
For instance
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, diabetic type 2
is
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diabetes is
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the
Correct article usage
a
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one
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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genetic
disease
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 and
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also
Verb problem
is also
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 stimulated by related
behaviour
Fix the agreement mistake
behaviours
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such
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 as having sugary
food
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, so the campaign should inform the causes of
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disease
Correct article usage
the disease
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, the ways to prevention and the treatments in order to increase
disease
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awareness
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.
Secondly
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, sharing experiences might be the one effective strategy to persuade
people
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 to do the same thing.
Therefore
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, promoting
disease
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awareness
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 is the initial stage toward having healthy habits. In conclusion, many
health
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 problems are caused by bad habits
,
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;
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Linking Words
therefore
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therefore,
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 more and more
people
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 tend to eat healthy
food
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 and do more exercise,
whereas
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 promoting
disease
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awareness
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 is the foundation strategy to persuade the community to do the same.

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task response
Make sure your answer has two clear parts: why people eat healthy and how to urge others. Write a plan in the first paragraph and follow it with two full ideas for each part.
coherence
content
The essay has an intro that shows the topic.
structure
There is a plan and a clear end (conclusion).
coherence
Connecting words are used often (however, to begin, and finally).
Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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