IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

1.Universities and colleges are now offering qualifications through distance leaning from the internet than teachers in the classroom. Do you think the advantages of development outgoing the disadvantages?

#universities #colleges #qualifications #distance #internet #teachers #classroom #development
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Nowadays，many
universities
Use synonyms
 and colleges have not allowed
students
Use synonyms
 to learn in school due to the COVID-19 pandemic.
Therefore
Linking Words
, the qualifications are now given to
students
Use synonyms
 through
distance
Use synonyms
Correct your spelling
learning
show examples
leaning
Correct your spelling
learning
show examples
instead
Linking Words
 of teaching in the classroom. I think the advantages of
this
Linking Words
 development outweigh the
disadvantages
Use synonyms
. Some
people
Use synonyms
 believe that
students
Use synonyms
 cannot master the skills and knowledge due to a lack of
teacher
Fix the agreement mistake
teachers
show examples
 to monitor them while learning. They claim
distance
Use synonyms
education
Use synonyms
 cannot create a positive surrounding, which will cause their grades to be very poor.
Additionally
Linking Words
,
students
Use synonyms
 who live at home might not communicate with classmates and friends
face
Use synonyms
 to
face
Use synonyms
 as often, resulting in relationships becoming weaker and not staying in touch. Despite the
disadvantages
Use synonyms
 mentioned above, I think there are two main
reasons
Use synonyms
 why some
people
Use synonyms
 think the merits outweigh the
disadvantages
Use synonyms
.
First
Linking Words
,
students
Use synonyms
 in
universities
Use synonyms
 should not be worried about where they learn and their living fees.
For example
Linking Words
, if international
students
Use synonyms
 could get their diplomas via the internet,
this
Linking Words
 means that they could live in their comfortable house and save costs on accommodation.
Secondly
Linking Words
, with online
Use synonyms
education
Add a comma
,education
show examples
 it is easy to communicate directly to tutors and teachers about academic questions, doubts, and assignments are easy to find. These advantages could enhance the effects
from
Change preposition
of
show examples
 studying and teaching. I think remote
education
Use synonyms
 could
also
Linking Words
 give an equal opportunity to some
students
Use synonyms
 that come from poverty to educate them. In conclusion, for the above
reasons
Use synonyms
, I think we gain more from learning on the Internet than we may lose. Nowadays，many
universities
Use synonyms
 and colleges did not allow that
students
Use synonyms
 learn in school due to the COVID-19.
Therefore
Linking Words
, the qualifications are given to
students
Use synonyms
 through
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
distance
Use synonyms
Correct your spelling
learning
show examples
leaning
Correct your spelling
learning
show examples
instead
Linking Words
 of teaching in the classroom. I think the advantages of
development
Add an article
the development
show examples
 outweigh the
disadvantages
Use synonyms
. Some
people
Use synonyms
 believe that
students
Use synonyms
 could not master the skills and knowledge due to no teacher to monitor them to learn and
distance
Use synonyms
education
Use synonyms
 cannot create
a positive surroundings
Correct the article-noun agreement
positive surroundings
a positive surrounding
show examples
, which will cause that their grades were very poor.
Addition
Change preposition
In addition
show examples
,
students
Use synonyms
 who lived in their own home might
cannot
Remove a modal verb
not
show examples
 communicate with classmates and friends
face
Use synonyms
 to
Use synonyms
face
Add an article
the face
show examples
 resulting
the
Change preposition
in the
show examples
 relationships would become weak and not in close touch. Despite the
disadvantages
Use synonyms
 mentioned above, I think there are two main
reasons
Use synonyms
 why some
people
Use synonyms
 would think the merits outweigh defects.
Firstly
Linking Words
,
students
Use synonyms
 in
universities
Use synonyms
 did not be worried about where they learn and their living fees .
For example
Linking Words
, the international
students
Use synonyms
, if they could get the diplomas via the
education
Use synonyms
 online and
this
Linking Words
mean
Change the verb form
means
show examples
 that they could live in their comfortable house and save the
amount
Change the quantifier
number
show examples
 of costs from
accommodation
Add an article
the accommodation
show examples
.
secondly
Linking Words
,
online
Change preposition
in online
show examples
education
Use synonyms
, it is easy to commute directly to tutors and teachers to talk about the academic questions and doubts,
also
Linking Words
 the assignment
were
Change the verb form
was
show examples
 easy to allocate and select. These could enhance effects from the studying and teaching. I think remote
education
Use synonyms
 could give
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
equal right to some
students
Use synonyms
 that came from
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
poverty areas to make them
to
Change the verb form
apply
show examples
acquire knowledge. In conclusion, for all
reasons
Use synonyms
 above, I think we gain more from learning on the Internet than we lose.
Submitted by 2535599684 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • unparalleled flexibility
  • democratizes education
  • geographically isolated
  • personal circumstances
  • cost-effectiveness
  • accommodation
  • commuting
  • self-motivated learning
  • self-discipline
  • time management
  • direct interaction
  • feelings of isolation
  • quality and recognition
  • inferior
  • technical issues
  • digital divide
  • reliable technology
  • underprivileged
What to do next:
Look at other essays: