Nations should spend more money on skills and vocational training for practical work, rather than on university education. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

While
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some countries invest millions of dollars in their tertiary
education
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systems, I am positive that they should put more effort into setting up vocational schools throughout their countries. Establishing a vocational
education
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system will increase the country's employment rate and
at
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, at
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the same time, reduce poverty across the nation. Equipping
people
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with skills to go into the workforce helps in bringing up the employment rate.
People
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could pick up a new skill in a shorter time compared to earning a 3-year university degree
and
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, and
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thus
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, they can start working quickly.
Additionally
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, it is through experience that
people
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learn and improve.
While
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higher
education
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usually teaches students
with
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apply
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theories, it does not give them the industrial experience that they need to immediately start working after graduation. Countries that allow
people
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to opt for vocational
education
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have a lower population of impoverished families. The key reason for
education
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is to enable
people
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to earn money. Skills training centres let
people
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quickly learn the skills that are necessary to go into the workforce and start earning a salary. If more
people
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have the opportunity to go
this
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route
instead
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of a degree, they can start supporting their families monthly.
For example
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, a lot of
people
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in my country cannot afford to go to university
and
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, and
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as a result
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, they end up working as blue-collar workers and
they
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apply
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earn less than ten dollars per day. In conclusion, government officials should consider establishing more vocational schools that allow
people
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of all ages and different financial backgrounds to attend to increase the country's employment rate,
as well as
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bring down poverty.
This
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will definitely contribute to the nation's growth.

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task
Make your view clear in the opening line and keep it steady through the essay. State how much you agree in the first sentence and restate it in the conclusion.
coherence
Improve flow by using simple linking words and topic sentences. Start each paragraph with a clear idea and end with a link to the next idea.
task
Add one or two strong examples or facts to back each idea. Numbers or real cases help a lot.
language
Check small grammar points and keep easy words. Use simple but correct form.
overall
Clear position and easy to read ideas.
structure
Good order of paragraphs.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example
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