14. Due to the development and rapid expansion of supermarkets, many small local businesses are unable to compete. Some people think that the closure of local business will bring about the death of local communities. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#development #expansion #supermarkets #businesses #people #closure #business #death #communities

Nowadays,

supermarkets

are being expanded and developed rapidly into the remote areas as well, thereby affecting the local

businesses

too. Some

people

think that due to the domination of

supermarkets

, local

businesses

might get

shutdown

Correct your spelling

shut down

show examples

and ultimately causing the eradication of local communities. While

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

others think the quite opposite. I strongly agree with the given statement and in

this

essay, I will discuss both the views and the arguments supporting them. On the one hand, due to the extensive development and expansion of

supermarkets

, many

people

are inclined towards them as they tend to offer

plethora

Add an article

a plethora

show examples

of commodities in them.

First

of all, due to the numerous options and as well as exciting offers provided by the

supermarkets

, consumers are attracted towards

supermarkets

and prefer them over the typical local stores.

As a result

, local

businesses

get affected and thereby, they are forced to shut their

businesses

down.

Consequently

this

results in the unemployment of the

people

associated with the local

businesses

as well.

Thereafter

, forcing the local and remote area

people

to migrate to other places for better employment, ultimately

causing

Wrong verb form

causes

show examples

the death of local communities.

On the contrary

, the

businesses

of local stores might increase due to the proliferating competition with the

supermarkets

. Though

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

many

people

are attracted to the offers and discounts offered by the

supermarkets

, some

people

go for buying goods at the local

businesses

only in some remote and rural areas.

For instance

, some

people

have issues like lack of trust

Change preposition

show examples

quality

Add an article

the quality

show examples

of goods sold by

supermarkets

and they prefer goods of local traders only.

However

this

might not be the case these days due to increasing urbanisation. To conclude, I strongly believe that

supermarkets

do affect the local

businesses

and

forces

Change the verb form

force

show examples

them to shut in

majority

Add an article

the majority

a majority

show examples

of the cases,

subsequently

resulting in the extermination of local communities.

Submitted by rameshchanndra801 on Sat Nov 06 2021

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

304 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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14. Due to the development and rapid expansion of supermarkets, many small local businesses are unable to compete. Some people think that the closure of local business will bring about the death of local communities. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Many employees can now do their work from home using modern technology. However, this change may only benefit workers, not the employers. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

The percentage of people who are five portions of fruits and vegetables per day in the UK from 2001 to 2008

Some people say History is one of the most important school subjects. Other people thimk that, in today's world, subjects like Science and Technology are more important tham History. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

We should fix the traffic and transportation by making everyone lives in the cities not suburbs or countrysides. What to extent do you agree or disagree?