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Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

Some people believe that it is good to share as much information as possible in scientific research, business and the academic world. Others believe that some information is too important or too valuable to be shared freely. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#people #information #research #business #world
Nowadays, it is argued that business
knowledge
 and scientific research should be shared unconditionally. Some individuals believe that the more widespread
information
 the more benefits they will receive.
However
,
other
Correct pronoun usage
others
show examples
 suggest that it should be accessible under some conditions.
This
 essay will demonstrate both sides of the
ideas
Fix the agreement mistake
idea
show examples
. Being
freely
Replace the word
free
show examples
 to share
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
scientific
knowledge
 can help people overcome their problems. To illustrate, if the undeveloped country cannot receive the medical research about the Covid-19's vaccine, it is impossible for them to get the vaccine for their people.
This
information
 can help them to solve
health
Correct article usage
the health
show examples
situation
Fix the agreement mistake
situations
show examples
 in their country.
Moreover
, in terms of
economy
Correct article usage
the economy
show examples
, the business
information
 which is shared freely can help the poor to improve their abilities to become a millionaire.
On the other hand
, without condition, the spread of
information
 is out of control. When everyone can easily access
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
whichever
knowledge
 they want, it is impossible for
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
 to manage.
As a result
,
this
 will lead to terrible situations in the future.
For example
, when the
information
 about the discovery of the new species is being shared without any
permissions
Fix the agreement mistake
permission
show examples
, some people will take advantage of
this
knowledge
 by registering it as their own achievement.
Therefore
, they will take all of the credit themselves.
In other words
, the more freedom of releasing the facts, the more hazardous of being used.
In addition
, some important facts
such
 as diplomatic or currency trading should be asked for permission before being announced because they will turn into
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
terrible situations in the long run. In conclusion, having considered
this
 matter carefully,
although
 the freedom of
releasing
Replace the word
release
show examples
 give some benefits, I personally suggest that the valuable
knowledge
 should be restricted to share freely in order to prevent the several terrible effects in the future.
Submitted by Varaiphand on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

You are not ready for IELTS Speaking, if you

  • Can’t speak smoothly without pauses.
  • Use simple words and lack vocabulary.
  • Feel nervous and anxious when speaking.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • information sharing
  • scientific research
  • business
  • academic world
  • advancement of knowledge
  • progress
  • collaboration
  • cross-disciplinary research
  • open access
  • democratization of information
  • transparency
  • credibility
  • intellectual property
  • security concerns
  • commercial interests
What to do next:
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