IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Several languages are in danger of extinction because they are spoken by a very small number of people. People say that govt should spend public money on saving these languages. Discuss both views and give ur opinion.

#languages #danger #extinction #people #govt #money #ur
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
It is true that some minority
languages
 may disappear In the near future. I feel that trying to save these
languages
 by spending money on them is important, but it is by no
mean
Fix the agreement mistake
means
show examples
 the most important aspect to fund, as we will see. It must be admitted that preserving these
languages
 is an admirable objective. It helps to maintain a connection with our past, as we will be able to know and use the same words as our ancients. In
this
 ,way our culture will be preserved and conveyed to the next generation. Added to
this
, saving the identity of the country and
make
Wrong verb form
making
show examples
 it unique, and help
also
 in understanding the history and books found from the past.
Finally
,
this
 may become a source of income by encouraging tourists and students to learn the local culture.
On the other hand
, there are more crucial sectors to invest in
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
. Starting from health, education, infrastructure and safety sectors. It is more fundamental to provide good healthcare services, schools and universities, railroads
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
transportation and safety than to care about saving and maintaining the connection with our past. It might
also
 be said that
these
Correct pronoun usage
this
show examples
 can be done by reading
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
books and visiting museums and historical places and there is no need to put all
this
 money into it. In conclusion, we must recognize and welcome the role of
languages
 in cultures, but there are some other fields that are more advisable to fund
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 and many different ways to conserve the local culture.
Submitted by imanalmardi on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Ensure your thesis statement clearly reflects the structure of your essay. Mentioning both sides and your opinion in the introduction can help guide the reader.
coherence cohesion
Use topic sentences to introduce each main point more clearly at the beginning of each paragraph. This improves the essay's logical structure.
task achievement
Include more specific examples to support your points. This can make your arguments more persuasive and demonstrate a deeper understanding of the topic.
coherence cohesion
Proofread your essay to correct minor grammatical errors and inconsistencies. This will help you communicate your ideas more clearly and cohesively.
task achievement
Your essay provides a balanced discussion of the topic, considering both views in a fair manner.
coherence cohesion
The conclusion effectively summarizes your position and the main points discussed.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: