IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4

Today, the quality of life in large cities is decreasing. Discuss the cause and solutions.

#quality #life #cities
Nowadays, the
quality
 of living of
people
 in big
cities
 is getting worst. In
this
 essay, I am going to talk about the causes of
this
 and give some
potetial
Correct your spelling
potential
solutoins
Correct your spelling
solutions
 to improve it.
Firstly
, in the
Correct your spelling
biggest
bigest
Change the word
biggest
show examples
cities
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 our world, one of the
Correct your spelling
biggest
bigest
Change the word
biggest
show examples
 problems is fast food, which rise
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
health problems.
For
instance
Add a comma
,instance
show examples
 New York is the city that
produce
Change the verb form
produces
show examples
 the most street food in the world at a very cheap price. Secondarily, the rent is getting
realy
Correct your spelling
really
ready
expencive
Correct your spelling
expensive
 even for an
ordinarily
Change the adverb
ordinary
show examples
 person. So
people
 need to work harder to pay the bills,
furthermore
 increase the stress
Correct your spelling
and
show examples
an
Correct your spelling
and
show examples
 anxiety in them.
Although
 for every
problems
Change to a singular noun
problem
show examples
 there is a solution that can be done.
In
Change preposition
On
show examples
 the other hand,
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
 can take place to contribute to a better
quality
 of life. They should
promte
Correct your spelling
promote
 healthier options
instead
 of letting just fast food
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
denvelop
Correct your spelling
develop
 in those
cities
.
For
example
Add a comma
,example
show examples
 decreasing the price of healthy products and
advertise
Wrong verb form
advertising
show examples
 more of them. Another thing that could help
rise
Correct your spelling
raise
show examples
 the
quality
 of living is
reduce
Change the verb form
to reduce
reducing
show examples
 bills and
rental
Fix the agreement mistake
rentals
show examples
, so
people
 don't have to stress as much as before, working extra hours to pay
Correct your spelling
everything
everithing
Change preposition
for everithing
show examples
. In conclusion, the
Correct your spelling
lifestyle
show examples
life style
Correct your spelling
lifestyle
show examples
 of
people
 is going to get worst in
this
Correct determiner usage
these
show examples
 big
cities
, unless something
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
is done to improve it, and
people
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
 to
Correct your spelling
rely
show examples
relay
Correct your spelling
rely
show examples
 on
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
 to do it.
Although
 in my opinion if they won't change anything, our life
quality
 will not get better any time soon.
Submitted by Tizi999 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.

You essay structure should look something like this:

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – Problems
  • Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • One of the first problems of the...
  • Another problem that needs to be considered...
  • A possible solution to this problem would be...
  • One immediate practical solution is to...

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: