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Band 4

The government should ban smoking in public places , even though this would restrict some other people's freedom . Do you agree or disagree.

#government #ban #places #people #freedom
Some people think that smoking in public places should ban.
However
. It would restrict people's choices to be free to
smoke
 wherever they like. I totally agree with
this
, and in
this
 essay
I'am
Correct your spelling
I'm
 going to talk
a
Change preposition
about a
show examples
few
reason
Change to a plural noun
reasons
show examples
 why it should be prohibited. Smoking is still a big thing,
pepole
Correct your spelling
people
 still
smoke
 where they shouldn't. Because it could harm
pepole
Correct your spelling
people
 around those who do it, inhaling the passive fumes especially for pregnant
Correct your spelling
women
womans
Correct your spelling
women
show examples
 and kids,
furthermore
 is why
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
 should ban it.
For example
, in Australia, they banned it from almost every public
areas
Fix the agreement mistake
area
show examples
, giving smokers only a few places where they can do it.
Although
this
 is not the only cause
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 when it can be
also
 good to keep a clean environment.
Pepole
Correct your spelling
People
 often when they
smoke
, tend to throw the rest of the cigarettes on the ground. Which can accumulate
overe
Correct your spelling
over
 the days creating a dirty environment and polluting the green areas and oceans. Another good reason where smoking has to be only in
specifics
Replace the word
specific
show examples
 areas
so
Add a missing verb
is so
show examples
than
Correct your spelling
that
show examples
 we can keep our nature clean and
also
 lower the risk of fires and polluting the water.
However
. Smoking is not only harmful
for
Change the preposition
to
show examples
 the
pepole
Correct your spelling
people
 around them but
also
 for
who
Correct pronoun usage
those who
show examples
 dose it. In conclusion, the government shouldn't allow
peope
Correct your spelling
people
 to
smoke
 in public, even if
this
 will restrict some
pepole
Correct your spelling
people
 will. In my
opinion
Add a comma
,opinion
show examples
 banning it would be the best for
others
Correct pronoun usage
other
show examples
 people
haelth
Correct your spelling
health
healthy
 and for our
inviroment
Correct your spelling
environment
.
Submitted by Tizi999 on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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