Some people believe that reading stories from a book is better than watching TV or playing computer games for children.

#people #stories #book #tv #computer #games #children

Some people argue that reading

books

are more beneficial than watching television or video

games

. I completely agree with the idea that

children

should spend most of their time o

n r

Change preposition

apply

show examples

eading

books

. On the one hand, I believe that those kids who read

books

on t

Correct article usage

show examples

daily basis definitely will gain a lot of knowledge ranging from history, geography, cultures, art... which could benefit f

or t

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apply

show examples

hem at school or later on. My brother,

for example

, has been absorbing a numerous amount of knowledge from reading

books

since he was five. He has participated in lots of knowledge competitions and won a number of prizes.

Besides

, stimulating

children

' imagination is another benefit c

omes

Correct pronoun usage

that comes

show examples

from reading

books

since they can imagine vividly the characters, nature, culture... in that book, which is really useful in some of a

Add an article

the art

show examples

forms in p

articularly,

Replace the word

particular

show examples

and in creativity in general.

On the other hand

, spending so much time o

n p

Change preposition

apply

show examples

laying computer

games

or watching television negatively affect

children

' b

ehavior.

Change the spelling

behaviour

show examples

Firstly

, gaming is highly addictive and appealing to

children

because they get applauses and a

nother levels

Replace the adjective

another level

other levels

show examples

to take part in more and more often and they try to reach that goal.

This

type of addiction may have e

Add an article

an effect

show examples

ffect

Fix the agreement mistake

effects

show examples

ranging from lack of sleep, sacrificing homework to playing more hours.

Secondly

, more serious illnesses come with

this

addiction. Many

children

sit hours playing

games

may skip their meals or eat fast food which results in several serious illnesses like heart disease, visual problems, digestive disorder... In conclusion, I strongly believe that kids should focus on reading

books

in their free time

instead

of playing video

games

or watching television.

Submitted by Andy on Mon Nov 08 2021

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
11Grammar mistakes
 

3 paragraphs

270 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people believe that reading stories from a book is better than watching TV or playing computer games for children.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Some people think that too much money has been spent looking after and repairing old buildings, so we should knock down old buildings and build modern ones instead. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Doing an enjoyable activity with a child can develop better skills and more creativity than reading. To what extent do you agree? Use reasons and specific examples to explain your answer.

Many organisations and companies ask their staff to wear a uniform. What are the advantages of this?

Some people believe that unpaid community service should be a compulsory part of high school programmes. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some Companies have uniforms for their staff which must be worn all the time. What are the advantages for a company of having a uniform? Are there any benefits or drawbacks of having a uniform for the staff?