IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7.5

Government should invest more money in science education rather than other subjects to develop the country. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#government #money #science #education #subjects #country
It is crucial for the authority to support much budget in
science
 learning rather than others to enhance the country. I would firmly oppose
this
 view because scientific education is extremely necessary to the sustainable development of the nation. On the one hand, The most fundamental reason is that
science
 plays an essential role in the inexorable improvement of intellect. On the individual level, many an adolescent is inclined to lean towards learning
science
 subject because they can have a good college qualification after graduating.
As a result
, they can have well-paid jobs,
such
 as doctors, scientists, let alone architects.
Nevertheless
, should they just focus on
science
subjects
, they are not able to foster those who have the aesthetic qualities of arts.
Therefore
,
this
 could have an adverse bearing on the number of students,
such
 as losing their interest to learn due to the difficulty of
subjects
,
such
 as math, physic, let alone chemistry.
On the other hand
, the rationale is that other
subjects
such
 as art,
english
Change the capitalization
English
show examples
 would help them to nurture their creativity, which could lead to analytical ability’s development.
As a result
, many students can meet lots of companies’ needs so that we can degrade the unemployment rate.
For instance
, the public can have less social chaos. Another valid reason is that they can wind down after studying
science
subjects
.
As a result
, we can boost their productivity when we study difficult
subjects
. In conclusion, my firm conviction is that
although
 may practical subject help to develop their country, the government should encourage students to balance their education.
Submitted by star.nguyenhuyhoang.2409 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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