Childhood obesity has become a serious problem in recent years. What are the primary causes of this? What measures should be taken to reduce childhood obesity?

#childhood #obesity #years #measures

Obesity

among

children

is considered to be a critical

health

problem these days, and while many factors might

Correct your spelling

play

show examples

paly

Correct your spelling

play

show examples

a role in its incidence, it can be tackled and alleviated by little adjustment of child's eating and

excersising

Correct your spelling

exercising

habits.

First

, the recent increased average childrens' body

weight

is due to in part to the

unctrolled

Correct your spelling

uncontrolled

consuming of sugary beverages and snacks , and to the sedentary

life style

Correct your spelling

lifestyle

show examples

or lack of physical

excersise

Correct your spelling

exercise

, in

other part

Change the wording

another part

other parts

show examples

. It is noticed that eating habits have remarkably changed in the

last

two decades and the majority of

children

and

teenageers

Correct your spelling

teenagers

, particularly in the western countries, are consuming thousands of gallons of sugary soft drinks on daily basis and

this

trend has

lead

Wrong verb form

led

show examples

to a rise in the average

weight

by more than 30 % among the youngsters.

Moreover

, the unprecedented demand for electronic games at the expense of

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apply

show examples

out -door

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outdoor

show examples

activities plays a critical role in

children;s

Change the punctuation

children's

show examples

overweight per seen,

this

factor added to the increased intake calories are the main causes of

obesity

and related

health

peoblems

Correct your spelling

problems

Second

although

children

obesity

turned out to be an outbreak, it is still not intractable to treatment by following two practical measurements.

First

Change the article

The first

show examples

step is to launch

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show examples

rawarness

Correct your spelling

awareness

campaign through

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

social media and television ,to point out the problem , and to highlight

obesity related

Add a hyphen

obesity-related

show examples

risk

Fix the agreement mistake

risks

show examples

chil's

Correct your spelling

child's

physical and psychological wellbeing .

This

campaign had to be funded by the

Menistry

Correct your spelling

Ministry

Health

and might be supported by the concerned local facilities. In some countries where

children

obesity

reached

an alarming levels

Correct the article-noun agreement

alarming levels

an alarming level

show examples

, a considerable decrease in the

children

's body mass index could be

acheived

Correct your spelling

achieved

after displaying some videos of an

over

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overweight

show examples

weight

person struggling to climb

Correct the article-noun agreement

apply

show examples

stairs , in a famous

fast food

Add a hyphen

fast-food

show examples

restaurant chains.

Second

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The second

show examples

step

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

is to encourage the youngsters to practice some kind of physical work out at least 2 times per week , and

this

to be included in

school's

Correct article usage

the school's

show examples

corriculum

Correct your spelling

curriculum

. All students in

Japapn

Correct your spelling

Japan

, as an example, have to start their day at school by some

out-door

Correct your spelling

outdoor

show examples

work out for minimum

Change preposition

of 15

show examples

minutes. In conclusion, food rich in sugar and lack of physical

excersise

Correct your spelling

exercise

are

main

Correct article usage

the main

show examples

reasons behind the increased

children

weight

however

, school boards and the

Menistry

Correct your spelling

Ministry

Health

can play an essential role to alleviate

this

problem , and many countries around the world could overcome

this

challenge.

Submitted by mkhmd68 on Mon Nov 08 2021

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Word Count

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
36Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

398 words

5.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Childhood obesity has become a serious problem in recent years. What are the primary causes of this? What measures should be taken to reduce childhood obesity?

Word Count

In some countries an increasing number of people are suffering from health problems as a result of eating too much fast food. It is therefore necessary for governments to impose a higher tax on this kind of food. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

In many countries, children are engaged in some kind of paid work. Some people regard this as completely wrong, while others consider it as valuable work experience. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Countries with along average working time are more economically successful than those countries which do not have a long working time. To what extent do you agree or disagree

It is generally accepted that families are not as close as they used to be. Give reasons why this change has happened and suggest how families could be brought closer together?

In most countries, prison is an effective solution to the problem of crime. Some people think it is a more effective solution to provide education for those who violate the law. To what extend do you agree or disagree?