IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

The gap between the rich and poor is growing. What difficulties does this cause? How can these problems be overcome?

#gap #difficulties
Over time, the disparity of wealth between rich and poor
people
 has been growing.
As a result
,
people
 are suffering from higher crime rates and slower economic growth.
However
, there are a number of measures that could be implemented to tackle
this
 problem. One of the issues from the bigger
gap
 between wealthy
people
 and poor
people
 is that it triggers a number of city crimes. While those who are rich enjoy their luxurious life, many cannot even afford their meal.
Consequently
, those who are poor might have been forced by the situation to steal or commit a crime in order to make their ends meet. Another problem is that when a minority of
people
 in the society hold most of the money in the system, cash flow in the society will stick as fewer
people
 have money to spend.
This
 results in the slow economic growth of the country. There are a number of ways to tackle
this
 problem.
Firstly
, governments should implement an effective law about taxes collection.
This
 law should emphasise
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
collecting more taxes from rich
people
 and its penalty for tax avoidance should be serious. If taxes are collected effectively from richer
people
, not only will the
gap
 between wealthy
people
 and poor
people
 be narrowed, governments will
also
 get more money to spend on free
education
 and healthcare. The best way to reduce the
gap
,
however
, would probably be providing free
education
 for those who are from less affluent backgrounds as
education
 provide them to get more opportunities to earn more.
Although
 I concede that
this
 could be hard to achieve, if the authorities could do it,
this
 vicious
gap
 would be reduced massively. In conclusion, not only does the bigger disparity between rich and poor give rise to the urban crime rate
,
Add the word(s)
but,
show examples
it
also
 slows down the economy. Only when governments introduce effective tax laws and systems and make sure poor
people
 get access to free
education
, will
this
 situation be remedied.
Submitted by t.kamonkit on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: