IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

It’s time to ban social media. It has been shown that it has made life worse for people all over the world, from politics, to self-image, to the spread of disinformation. It is a social experiment that has not worked and it is time to say goodbye.To what extent do you agree with the above statement?

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In today’s world social medial has become an indispensable thing because everyone
are
Change the verb form
is
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 using it now and
everyday
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every day
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. It has both positive and negative sides but
actually
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,actually
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 it all depends on how we
use
Use synonyms
 the
internet
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. In my perspective, if we
use
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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social
media
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 in the right way so it will become a useful tool for
people
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, but it might
brings
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bring
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 some
drawback
Fix the agreement mistake
drawbacks
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, too.
First
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 of all, we must acknowledge that social
media
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 has become the substitute
to
Change preposition
for
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 face-to-face communication.
People
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 can keep in touch with each
others
Change to a singular noun
other
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 regardless of
geography
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geographical
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 locations.
For example
Linking Words
,
person
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the person
a person
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 who lives far apart
of
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from
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 their family can easily
use
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 the online contact method to update their latest news in life as soon as possible.
Second
Linking Words
, it is a huge source of information. By the large of social
media
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 users, they have been providing an extensive amount of information
such
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 as
:
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apply
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 their knowledge or latest news about the particular major.
Otherwise
Linking Words
, the drawbacks of the
internet
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 are more concerning.
First
Linking Words
, it affects our health and mental.
By
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With
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 the
convinience
Correct your spelling
convenience
 of social
media
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,
people
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 would be more
rely
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reliable
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 on the online platforms to contact together. Increased
used
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use
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 of electron devices leads to
the
Correct article usage
a
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decreased
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decrease
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of
Change preposition
in
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 visual acuity and health.
Then
Linking Words
, bad guys can
use
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Use synonyms
Internet
Add an article
the Internet
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 to do bad things.
For example
Linking Words
,
criminal
Fix the agreement mistake
criminals
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 can
use
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 social
media
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 to commit
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the offence
an offence
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offence
Fix the agreement mistake
offences
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.
Linking Words
Also
Add a comma
,Also
show examples
 it can trigger social ills
such
Linking Words
 as
people
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Use synonyms
use
Wrong verb form
using
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Use synonyms
internet
Add an article
the internet
show examples
 to spread misinformation and cause social conflicts. In conclusion, social
media
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 now has associated with life. If we
use
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 it for
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 positive purpose it will become more useful. Everything has its pros and cons, and how we
use
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 it is the most important.

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