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Computer games are becoming very popular among children of all ages and nationalities. Parents say they are concerned because these games have little educational value and many harmful effects. Do you agree or disagree?

#computer #games #children #ages #nationalities #parents #value #effects
In each and every country, computer-based
games
 are drastically becoming more famous for all ages of adolescents. Parents are worried about these
games
 due to they will affect their studies and it
also
 results in dangerous effects. I will agree with
this
 statement because it will show more impact on their academics and
also
 show consequences in their
health
. Playing more desktop
games
 will damage the school studies of
children
. Nowadays, more
number of
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
students aged between 13-19 are showing more interest in spending their time
in
Change preposition
apply
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playing video
games
instead
 of doing their studies and
thus
 makes them not enough prepared for the exams.
For example
, according to the Times of India report revealed that 87% of the school students are showing great interest in playing stations. According to
this
, playing
games
 will spoil education. On
Correct article usage
the other
show examples
other
Change the wording
another
show examples
 side, playing these PC
games
also
 show disadvantages in
children
's healths. Continuous playing of video
games
 has shown an effect that the majority of the youngsters are getting neck pain and spending a lot of time
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
sitting and playing
also
 results in their back pain as well. If it goes like
this
 at small age they will get eye-sight.
For instance
, from the
last
decade
Add a comma
,decade
show examples
 the World
Health
 Organisation has shown
report
Add an article
a report
show examples
 that 7 out of 10 per cent of young
children
 use spectacles for their eyesight. Spending more leisure on playing stations will increase
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
health
 issues. In conclusion, I believe that more young
children
 spending their time
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
playing
games
 results that education scores are decreasing and it
also
 harms their
health
 that's why parents are very concerned about their
children
.
Submitted by udvamshi on

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    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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