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Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

The graphs below show the enrolments of overseas students and local students in Australian universities over a ten year period. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The graphs below show the enrolments of overseas students and local students in Australian universities over a ten year period. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#graphs #show #enrolments #students #australian #universities #ten #year #period #summarise #information #features #comparisons
The
graphs
illustrates
Change the verb form
illustrate
show examples
 the
enormlents
Correct your spelling
enrolments
enrolment
 of foreign
students
 and local
students
 in
Auatralia
Correct your spelling
Australian
Australia
 universities over a
ten year
Add a hyphen
ten-year
show examples
peiod
Correct your spelling
period
.
Overall
, what stands out from the
graphs
, is that there is provided
Add the preposition
with a
show examples
a
Change the article
an
show examples
 enormous gap between Commencing and
Total
Correct article usage
the Total
show examples
 amount of
students
 at the beginning of the period.
Next
,
threre
Correct your spelling
there
also
 can be seen that Commencing amount of
students
 on both
graphs
 is lower than in
Total
Correct article usage
the Total
show examples
rate
. Looking at the details, on the Overseas
Students
 chart both lines is starting approximately from
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
one point.
Then
,
Total
Correct article usage
the Total
show examples
rate
 is making
Correct article usage
a surge
show examples
surge
Wrong verb form
surged
show examples
 from 20000 to approximately 80000 amount of
students
 in comparison with Commencing
rate
.
Also
Add a comma
,Also
show examples
 there is can be
conssidered
Correct your spelling
considered
 a huge gap between
graphs
. Regarding
Local
Correct article usage
the Local
show examples
Students
 graph, Commencing
rate
 is steadily declining from 2001 to 2010. Following that,
Total
Correct article usage
the Total
show examples
rate
 is increasing totally from 400000 to approximately 600000
students
, in comparison with
opposite
Add an article
the opposite
an opposite
show examples
rate
 on the same graph.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words graphs, students, rate with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "graphs" was used 6 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "comparison" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "approximately" was used 3 times.
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