It has become more easier and more affordable for people to travel to other countries. Do you think it is a positive or a negative development? Give your opinion and relevant examples from your experience.

In the globalised epoch, travelling is considered
as
Change preposition
apply
show examples
a profound captivating activity. With the progressing of
world
Add an article
the world
show examples
, the opportunities to travel
also
increase at an alarming rate.
Although
I believe that it leads the people towards the countless avails, the detrimental impacts of
this
not only on the evolution of a nation but
also
on the inhabitants can not be neglected. Analysing the statement and explaining
futher
Correct your spelling
further
there are myriad
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
positive enhancements by
this
,
first
and foremost is that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
the attitude of people can be altered by
assist
Add an article
the assist
show examples
of exploration,
therefore
they are more likely to respect the etiquette
along
Add the preposition
withalong
show examples
the worldwide by exploring there culture and traditions. Another striking factor in
this
regard is that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
the
livehood
Correct your spelling
livelihood
livelihoods
of masses is completely incumbent on the travelling as an outcome golden chances of
job
Add an article
the job
a job
show examples
are raised by it.
Morever
Correct your spelling
Moreover
, it works
such
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
as an adroit leader by allowing to learn new languages and numerous aptitude from a variety of nations.
Last
but not least is that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
international tourism
play
Change the verb form
plays
show examples
an imperative role in the development of a country economy.
For instance
, a survey, which was monitored in 2018, found that
highest
Correct article usage
the highest
show examples
GDP shares
was
Change the verb form
were
show examples
generated by Dubai when about 90 million commuters visited there. Probing ahead, one of the main underlying reasons stems from the fact that, more travelling works as a mother of dire environmental issues and a
threatened
Replace the word
threat
show examples
to global warming as well. What is more, it gives an invitation to the illegal activities, since it was observed that the attacker who attacked the Taj Hotel, in India, was identified as a terrorist and he reached there as a
sightseeker
Correct your spelling
sight seeker
.
Furthermore
, the burden on the shoulders of a country administration
also
increase
Change the verb form
increases
show examples
in order to prevent the travellers from the dangers which can be
encountred
Correct your spelling
encountered
by them during their journey. To conclude, according to the deliberation aforementioned above, in my ideology tourism is a vital aspect for the economical growth,
however
Add a comma
,however
show examples
it has both positive and negative effects.
Submitted by HMP on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: